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Band 7.5

IELTS (Essay Questions) Some people believe that helping others by giving them money or food is not as effective as teaching them useful skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There is an ongoing debate regarding the most effective way to assist those in need.
While
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 some advocate for providing immediate relief through money or food, others contend that equipping individuals with practical
skills
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 is a more sustainable and empowering approach. I firmly support the latter perspective, as skill development not only fosters self-sufficiency but
also
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 addresses the root causes of long-term poverty. Undoubtedly, the provision of financial aid or basic necessities plays a critical role during emergencies
such
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 as natural disasters or humanitarian crises. In
such
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 circumstances, survival depends on swift access to food, shelter, and medical care.
However
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,
while
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this
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 form of aid can alleviate suffering in the short term, it does little to improve a person's long-term prospects. Once the aid ceases, many recipients are left without the means to support themselves, thereby perpetuating a cycle of dependency.
Conversely
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, teaching useful and marketable
skills
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 offers a far more sustainable solution. Vocational training, literacy programs, or digital education can significantly enhance employability and open pathways to economic independence.
For instance
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, an individual who acquires
skills
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 in carpentry, tailoring, or computer programming is more likely to secure employment or even establish a small business.
This
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 not only uplifts the individual but
also
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 contributes to the local economy.
Moreover
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, skill development nurtures a sense of dignity and self-worth. When people are empowered to provide for themselves and their families, their confidence and motivation increase, which often leads to greater social cohesion.
This
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 ripple effect can uplift entire communities, reducing reliance on charitable organizations and promoting long-term development. In conclusion,
while
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 providing money or food is essential in urgent situations, it is the teaching of valuable
skills
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 that truly transforms lives. By investing in education and training, we enable individuals to escape poverty, restore their independence, and contribute meaningfully to society.

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task achievement
Ensure that every point made in each paragraph is directly relevant to the main argument. Although all points are relevant here, adding a few more specific examples could enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying the sentence structure in some areas to enhance flow and rhythm. Longer and shorter sentences can balance the text and maintain the reader's interest.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and strong position throughout, supporting the argument with well-organized points and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Excellent use of paragraphs with clear main ideas, and strong introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the argument effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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