Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development?

#sport #business #companies #events #development

Since

last

century,

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

competitions have attracted

increasing

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an increasing

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number of watchers, leading to more involvements of private firms. While some people support

this

result is a positive advancement, I believe it is an uncertain development because it indeed brings both pros and cons to athletes. On the one hand, there are several advantages that more private sectors get part in the sports field. An obvious example can be viewed by

foundation

Add an article

the foundation

a foundation

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of professional clubs. Lakers, one of the most renowned basketball team, has gathered thousands of fans and is a kind of tribe to people who adore similar styles and stars. For those people, the potential for recommending to their peers is huge, which could be

seen

Verify preposition usage

asseen

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a spread of

sport

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sports

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culture

that is

a positive development.

Moreover

, these associations offer some players a platform to show their talents to all individuals, which is beneficial for contestants’ future career

Remove the comma

apply

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and help them to raise their family.

On the other hand

, some disadvantages are

also

caused by the trend that

sport

is becoming a business.

For instance

, one of the most deleterious consequences is that there may be fake matches. As we all know, the two most essential factors of an occupational game are fairness and equity. Any kind of cheats cannot

be bore

Change the verb form

be bored

be boring

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for every

sport

Change the noun form

sports

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fan, so that the participation of firms may contaminate the purity of

sport

spirits and cultures. To some extent, the future of sporting events

may be

Correct your spelling

maybe

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not as expected as people’s wishes due to commercial values. In conclusion, unadmittedly, both benefits and drawbacks can be seen as growing numbers of companies take part in the sporting aspect. I wish the original goal of sports will be not ignored and changed, and more citizens fancy

this

category of activities.

Submitted by Esther on Sat Feb 13 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development?

Why do students prefer doing part-time jobs during their studies? Do you ‎think this has more advantages or disadvantages?‎

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that increasing business and cultural contacts between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.