Wealth does not necessarily guarantee happiness. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement?

Happiness

is one of the most important aspects of living a peaceful

life

and to live happy some people think that it is necessary to be rich ,meanwhile , others think wealth does not necessarily guarantee

happiness

However

, I agree to some extent that being prosperous in

life

does not guarantee

happiness

but I disagree in some cases. The following essay will give information based on

this

argument. On the one hand , it is not very crucial to be a wealthy person because

this

will not lead to a happy and peaceful

life

. In order to be joyful in

life

, a person should be living in

the

Change the article

show examples

environment where there is peace and

this

does not mean that he should be living in an affluent family. To illustrate , many disadvantaged families live a

life

that is

full of joy because there are no disputes happening in their family as there is mutual understanding between them but ,

on the other hand

, there are many

priveleged

Correct your spelling

privileged

households who are not happy because there are

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of fights that take place among them.

On the other hand

, there are few points on which I totally disagree.

Firstly

, it is very important that people should have some money to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

some basic needs.

For example

, there are many impoverished people who cannot even afford

a nutritious food

Remove the article

nutritious food

a portion of nutritious food

show examples

and

this

lead to the disturbance of the balanced diet.

Secondly

, many of them do not have adequate finance and due to

this

, they cannot afford to send their children to schools to acquire a good level of education. To conclude, I totally agree that wealth does not guarantee

happiness

but there should be some amount of money to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

person's

Add an article

a person's

show examples

basic necessities and

this

will lead to a peaceful

life

Submitted by manasiparmar97 on Sun Feb 14 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Wealth does not necessarily guarantee happiness. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Since traffic is such a problem in modern cities, private cars should not be allowed in city centres. Discuss the arguments for and against this statement. What do you think we should do about the problem of traffic in city centres?

A country's success is often measured by its economic progress, but many people believe that other factors should be utilized.

Nowadays, sports is a big business with high earnings for professional sports people and companies involved both financially and other ways. Is this a positive or negative development for sports?

Some people think that tourism is one of the helpful ways to increase a countries state. However, others believe that tourism can only damage traditional rules bringing own affect to a society and cause other troubles. To what extent do you agree with?

The world would be a much poorer place without colour. To what extent would you agree or disagree.