IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own country. But others believe that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #charity #organizations #offer #country #aid
In modern society, while many
people
 think that charitable organizations are well-advised to(should) provide aid to citizens of their own countries, another of thought is that underprivileged global citizens should be received assistance, regardless of geographical barriers. In my essay, I will delve into the latter view. On the one hand, the government should help its neighbours and fellow citizens. The main reason for
this
 is that in virtually all communities, there are impoverished or disadvantaged
people
 who need attention and support from others.
For example
, it is not uncommon to catch sight of (see) homeless children and miserable beggars in even the wealthiest district of Vietnam.
Therefore
, a charitable campaign
such
 as clothing donation, building a house of gratitude, or economic incentive should be prioritized in local areas rather than in other regions abroad.
On the other hand
, there are several reasons why charity organizations should support impoverished
people
 in the world.
Firstly
, through
this
 help, the government can build a harmonious and mutually beneficial relationship with other countries.
For instance
, the Japanese government has invested millions of dollars in the form of ODA, through the construction of more bridges, railways, infrastructures in Vietnam since 2007.
Thus
,
this
 collaboration enables the recipient country to have the potential to repay the debt and enhance economic development.
Secondly
, it is true that
people
 in underdeveloped countries have to suffer more pressing issues
such
 as inadequate accommodation, a lack of food and education than developed ones. All in all, I am more inclined to the view that charity organizations should give support to all deprived
people
 in the world.
Submitted by vttha22 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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