IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has more devastating impact on our world. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #moment #deforestation #impact #world
It is often claimed by some people that the increase in Earth’s temperature is the worst issue faced by humanity in recent times, while others think that the forest destruction has a more detrimental effect on the world. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I believe deforestation is the most serious problem nowadays. On the one hand, ice sheets are melting
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a fast pace never seen before due to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
global warming. As an illustration of
this
, a recent survey has shown that the world’s glaciers will much likely have disappeared within the
next
 century.
As a result
, animals
such
 as polar bears which depend on
this
 environment to survive are facing an alarming risk of going extinct.
Furthermore
, several people are suffering from natural disasters,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 severe floodings and storms.
This
 is because the rising temperatures provoke extreme weather conditions which change the climate.
On the other hand
, deforestation is causing even worse consequences
to
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 our planet. To start off, since forests play a vital role in absorbing carbon dioxide and releasing oxygen, its destruction means that the greenhouse gases will stay on the
athmosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 trapping heat from the Sun, leading ultimately to global warming.
Moreover
, several species are losing its habitats and becoming endangered by the constant cutting down of trees.
Consequently
, wholes ecosystems are being disrupted which is harming the biodiversity of our flora and fauna. In conclusion, even though global heating has a detrimental impact on the world, I believe that deforestation is a more critical issue because it not only contributes to the rise of Earth’s average temperature, but it
also
 harms a large number of animals.
Submitted by larissa.sepulveda19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Greenhouse effect
  • Industrial emissions
  • Sea levels
  • Extreme weather events
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon emissions
  • Renewable energy
  • Paris Climate Accord
  • Carbon cycle
  • Soil erosion
  • Water cycles
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Reforestation
  • Sustainable forest management
  • Indigenous communities
  • Localized impacts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: