IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
Throughout the world, youngsters are stimulated to spend a
year
 travelling or working before enrolling the university.
This
 essay will discuss some of the disadvantages and the advantages of taking a
year
 out and will explain why its benefits overcome the drawbacks.
To begin
 with,
people
 who are against spending a
year
 out of studies claim that due to our competitive world the cost of losing one entire
year
 of study is extremely high. The number of companies which are requiring younger and more specialized
people
 is increasing;
hence
, interrupting the course of your student life might postpone your university conclusion and affect negatively the possibility of accessing best jobs opportunities available in the market.
Although
this
 policy is not
explicited
Correct your spelling
explicit
, the majority of developers who were hired for Google Company
last
year
 had just turned twenty-two and had finished their programming degrees.
Nevertheless
, the possible negative effects of losing
competitivenes
Correct your spelling
competitiveness
 in the future labour market pale in comparison to the positive ones.
People
 who take their time to travel and work, normally, live experiences that help them to become more mature and prepared to decide their future career. To illustrate
this
, not only youngsters change their profissional decision during their absent
year
 but they
also
 tend to be happier with their choices. It seems that taking more time to think about their future might help young
people
 not to suffer peer pressure regarding their career decision,
consequently
, they are able to think more clearly about their preferences. To conclude,
although
 some drawbacks can be related to be absent from studies before enrolling in the university, I believe that the negative effects pale in comparison to the positive ones. Teenagers who take their time to live other experiences tend to be more mature after
this
 process and more likely to be happy with their professional career choices.
Submitted by andreluizrc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: