The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many believe that the vitality of scientific development is to enhance human beings’
lives
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
there are objections to
this
Linking Words
statement. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will agree with the objections and discuss reasons to support my perspective. It is undeniable that science has facilitated people’s
lives
Use synonyms
in various fields
such
Linking Words
as transportation, electricity, medicine etc.
Firstly
Linking Words
, over the past decades, many types of transportation
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
invented in order for people to transport faster with convenience.
Secondly
Linking Words
, electricity
also
Linking Words
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
one of the fundamental needs in our daily
lives
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, with medical innovation, we can save many
lives
Use synonyms
from the numerous invented methods.
For example
Linking Words
, during
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
pandemic, scientists developed vaccines to prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
infection which saved people.
However
Linking Words
, that innovation is not the heart of science’s objective.
Instead
Linking Words
, science is the research and development that helps human beings to connect with nature. Scientific discoveries not only allow us to deeply understand the world we inhabit
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
to teach us how to coexist with nature.
For example
Linking Words
, the findings regarding natural disasters provide us with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solutions
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
how to survive in each situation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it shows us the cause which might be affected by artificial activities, so that we can learn how to prevent it. In conclusion, innovations can benefit us by improving our daily
lives
Use synonyms
, yet the significant purpose of science is for us to embrace and learn about nature.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
aim should be the basis before we invent new technology in order for us to coexist beautifully with our world.
Submitted by mean2542 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
While the essay starts with a clear thesis statement, the first body paragraph primarily lists general contributions of science without directly linking them to the essay prompt. To improve, make explicit connections between these contributions and the argument that improving lives should be the main aim of science.
coherence
To improve coherence, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will help guide the reader more smoothly through your arguments.
task response
While scientific discoveries related to nature are well-explained, consider further expanding on how these examples directly oppose the statement. This would make your disagreement more explicit and robust.
coherence
The essay features a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader understand the overall argument effectively.
task response
The writing includes relevant and specific examples, such as the development of vaccines during the COVID-19 pandemic, which strengthens your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: