The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Many believe that the vitality of scientific development is to enhance human beings’
lives
, while
there are objections to this
statement. In this
essay, I will agree with the objections and discuss reasons to support my perspective.
It is undeniable that science has facilitated people’s lives
in various fields such
as transportation, electricity, medicine etc. Firstly
, over the past decades, many types of transportation were
invented in order for people to transport faster with convenience. Wrong verb form
have been
Secondly
, electricity also
became
one of the fundamental needs in our daily Wrong verb form
become
lives
. Finally
, with medical innovation, we can save many lives
from the numerous invented methods. For example
, during COVID-19
pandemic, scientists developed vaccines to prevent Correct article usage
the COVID-19
the
infection which saved people.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, that innovation is not the heart of science’s objective. Instead
, science is the research and development that helps human beings to connect with nature. Scientific discoveries not only allow us to deeply understand the world we inhabit,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
to teach us how to coexist with nature. For example
, the findings regarding natural disasters provide us with the
solutions Correct article usage
apply
of
how to survive in each situation. Change preposition
for
Furthermore
, it shows us the cause which might be affected by artificial activities, so that we can learn how to prevent it.
In conclusion, innovations can benefit us by improving our daily lives
, yet the significant purpose of science is for us to embrace and learn about nature. Therefore
, this
aim should be the basis before we invent new technology in order for us to coexist beautifully with our world.Submitted by mean2542 on
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task response
While the essay starts with a clear thesis statement, the first body paragraph primarily lists general contributions of science without directly linking them to the essay prompt. To improve, make explicit connections between these contributions and the argument that improving lives should be the main aim of science.
coherence
To improve coherence, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will help guide the reader more smoothly through your arguments.
task response
While scientific discoveries related to nature are well-explained, consider further expanding on how these examples directly oppose the statement. This would make your disagreement more explicit and robust.
coherence
The essay features a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader understand the overall argument effectively.
task response
The writing includes relevant and specific examples, such as the development of vaccines during the COVID-19 pandemic, which strengthens your points.