The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives

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Many believe that the vitality of scientific development is to enhance human beings’

lives

Use synonyms

while

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there are objections to

this

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statement. In

this

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essay, I will agree with the objections and discuss reasons to support my perspective. It is undeniable that science has facilitated people’s

lives

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in various fields

such

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as transportation, electricity, medicine etc.

Firstly

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, over the past decades, many types of transportation

were

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

invented in order for people to transport faster with convenience.

Secondly

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, electricity

also

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became

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

one of the fundamental needs in our daily

lives

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Finally

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, with medical innovation, we can save many

lives

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from the numerous invented methods.

For example

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, during

COVID-19

Correct article usage

the COVID-19

show examples

pandemic, scientists developed vaccines to prevent

the

Correct article usage

apply

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infection which saved people.

However

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, that innovation is not the heart of science’s objective.

Instead

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, science is the research and development that helps human beings to connect with nature. Scientific discoveries not only allow us to deeply understand the world we inhabit

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

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to teach us how to coexist with nature.

For example

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, the findings regarding natural disasters provide us with

the

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apply

show examples

solutions

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for

show examples

how to survive in each situation.

Furthermore

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, it shows us the cause which might be affected by artificial activities, so that we can learn how to prevent it. In conclusion, innovations can benefit us by improving our daily

lives

Use synonyms

, yet the significant purpose of science is for us to embrace and learn about nature.

Therefore

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this

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aim should be the basis before we invent new technology in order for us to coexist beautifully with our world.

Submitted by mean2542 on Thu Jul 04 2024

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task response

While the essay starts with a clear thesis statement, the first body paragraph primarily lists general contributions of science without directly linking them to the essay prompt. To improve, make explicit connections between these contributions and the argument that improving lives should be the main aim of science.

coherence

To improve coherence, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will help guide the reader more smoothly through your arguments.

task response

While scientific discoveries related to nature are well-explained, consider further expanding on how these examples directly oppose the statement. This would make your disagreement more explicit and robust.

coherence

The essay features a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader understand the overall argument effectively.

task response

The writing includes relevant and specific examples, such as the development of vaccines during the COVID-19 pandemic, which strengthens your points.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
enhancing
quality of human life
advancements
medicine
healthcare
scientific research
solving societal problems
improving living standards
global issues
climate change
food scarcity
technological advancements
limitations
negative consequences
ethical considerations
sustainability
environmental preservation

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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