Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #factors #child #development #television #friends #music

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In recent times, societal norms on what are the most influential parameters affecting

children

Use synonyms

’s development have been brought into question. While some individuals assume that external elements as television, peers and music are more significant, others contest that the family is the fundamental factor. In

this

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essay, both sides will be discussed in my opinion why I believe that the family's role is more critical. Admittedly,

children

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do not live in an isolated environment with their families;

therefore

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, they are immensely influenced by extrinsic factors.

For instance

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, the more time they spend watching TV shows or programmes, the higher cognitive skills they acquire which shape their minds .

Moreover

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, they usually imitate their classmates in their ways of speaking, studying and playing. It has been noticed that most friends share identical characteristics. Another influential feature results from listening to music. As they can choose a specific musical genre, they might explore their ambition.

Hence

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, they might be motivated to master music in order to be a musician in the future.

Nevertheless

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, the family contributes more to raising their offspring physically and personally. As for their physical development, once they begin their lives, their parents provide them with a shelter, food and health care. Through

such

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caring, they are growing in a stable healthy environment.

Furthermore

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, since parents are considered the

first

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mentors for their

children

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, they instil traditions, ethics and behaviour rules into them.

This

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obviously helps in forming their personal traits needed for their future lives.

For example

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children

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who live in a connected nuclear family develop many different attitudes from those who do not. To conclude,

although

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both views hold an essential role in

children

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’s development , I believe that the family is still a powerful factor in their growth. Seldom do

children

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develop properly without family support even if

children

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are affected by other external factors.

Submitted by emanibrahim51191 on Mon Feb 15 2021

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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