IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people work long hours living very little time for leisure activities does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantage?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
Nowadays, so many
people
 are working overtime, not having enough
time
 to enjoy their lives outside their jobs. In my ,opinion it is extremely important for
people
 to have a
work
 and
life
 balance and believe the drawbacks of long
hours
 of
work
 outweigh the benefits.
To begin
 with, so many
people
 have to
work
 extra
hours
 in order to make a living and pay their bills. Especially when it comes to having a big family and being the only income provider.
This
 can prevent them to have enough
time
 to enjoy
life
. While
this
 is not an ideal situation, they are happy to be able to provide for their family and make sure their kids have enough support. They still have some
time
 to spend with their family and be happy they have a roof over their head and food on their table.
Thus
, low-income families have to
work
 overtime to overcome the battle of day-to-day
life
. The other side of the coin are those who make enough
money
 working normal
hours
 but they can not resist the urge of working for a higher income. They are so-called workaholic
people
. They have the option of spending their free
time
 doing fun things like spending
time
 with friends, doing exercise, travelling and so many other leisure activities.
However
, they enjoy working and making
money
. I strongly believe in
work
 and
life
 balance. I am not against working long
hours
, but I want to make sure I have enough
time
 to enjoy my
life
 and spend
time
 with my family. I think
money
 should
work
 for
people
 and not
people
 working for
money
.
Submitted by armiario139 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: