IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people work long hours living very little time for leisure activities does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantage?

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Nowadays, so many
people
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 are working overtime, not having enough
time
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 to enjoy their lives outside their jobs. In my ,opinion it is extremely important for
people
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 to have a
work
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 and
life
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 balance and believe the drawbacks of long
hours
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 of
work
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 outweigh the benefits.
To begin
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 with, so many
people
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 have to
work
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 extra
hours
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 in order to make a living and pay their bills. Especially when it comes to having a big family and being the only income provider.
This
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 can prevent them to have enough
time
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 to enjoy
life
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. While
this
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 is not an ideal situation, they are happy to be able to provide for their family and make sure their kids have enough support. They still have some
time
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 to spend with their family and be happy they have a roof over their head and food on their table.
Thus
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, low-income families have to
work
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 overtime to overcome the battle of day-to-day
life
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. The other side of the coin are those who make enough
money
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 working normal
hours
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 but they can not resist the urge of working for a higher income. They are so-called workaholic
people
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. They have the option of spending their free
time
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 doing fun things like spending
time
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 with friends, doing exercise, travelling and so many other leisure activities.
However
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, they enjoy working and making
money
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. I strongly believe in
work
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 and
life
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 balance. I am not against working long
hours
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, but I want to make sure I have enough
time
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 to enjoy my
life
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 and spend
time
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 with my family. I think
money
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 should
work
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 for
people
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 and not
people
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 working for
money
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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