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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

With a growing population many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM foods. what are the advantages and the disadvantages of doing this.

#population #people #focus #gm #foods
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Recently there has been a
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 rise in population. It is thought that genetically modified
crops
 should be increased. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I shall explain the possible positive and negative impacts of
such
 an idea. On the
one
 hand,
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of more genetically modified
foods
 results in many advantages.
one
 of which is increasing the rate of agriculture outcome.
this
 is because genetic engineering aims to come up with
crops
 which are more productive and with
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 life span.
Accordigly
Correct your spelling
Accordingly
, main cereals like wheat, corn and rice
anre
Correct your spelling
are
 expected to fill the needs of
Add an article
the nowaday
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nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
 elevated population.
Additionally
, vegetables which used to rotten in
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 hours or days are now modified to
last
 for
one
 to two weeks, so they can bare being shipped to far places without being damaged.
For instance
, original tomatoes used to rotten from two to four days maximum, but they were treated to sunrise for over two weeks recently.
Such
 development , indeed , affects positively
on
Change preposition
apply
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the country’s economy.
On the other hand
, using genetically modified
foods
 may have some drawbacks.
One
 disadvantage is that it causes dangerous diseases. To illustrate, as scientists change the characters of natural vegetables and fruits, they,
definitly
Correct your spelling
definitely
, use
chemical
Add an article
a chemical
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 substance which eventually affects our health causing dreadful sicknesses
such
 as cancer.
For example
, according to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research conducted by the
Fuclty
Correct your spelling
Faculty
 of Agriculture at Zagazig University in which 5000 volunteers who consume GM
foods
 participated in the research, about 10% of the participants developed different
concerous
Correct your spelling
cancerous
 diseases. Another disadvantage is that
,
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apply
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 the industry of producing organic natural
crops
 would recede. Due to the almost impossible competition between them and the productions with cheap prices
compaired
Correct your spelling
compared
 with organic
crops
.
Consequently
,
investers
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investors
 who own
farm lands
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farmlands
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 plant organic
foods
 may lose their jobs affecting the country economy negatively. To conclude, more GM
foods
 result in many advantages as increasing food production and quality, while they may have many disadvantages as affecting our health and vanishing
organic
Correct article usage
the organic
show examples
 food industry.
Submitted by rafaianasr91 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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