In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? IS it a positive or negative development?
Tracing one's family origin and history is becoming a trend in various parts
in
the world. In my opinion, people do Change preposition
of
this
in order to learn more about where they came from so that they will have an insight of
their past. I think Change preposition
into
this
is a good development because it will make individuals appreciate their past and it will also
make them aware of what disease they are more at risk.
Everyone has a unique genetic composition; however
, in a family
there is a common predisposition to a disease. Some people like to invest money in the detection of their Add a comma
family,
herditary
conditionsCorrect your spelling
hereditary
,
so that they can prevent it. Remove the comma
apply
That is
why DNA checking has became
a trend because it detects possible diseases that a person can develop in the future. Change the verb form
become
This
test is usually done by submitting a DNA sample, which will be studied in a lab. Once the result is out, the origin, genetics, and possible diseases will be indicated. For instance
, a Swedish celebrity underwent the exam and he found out that he was at risk of cardiac arrest.
Additionally
, in the past few centuries, in human history
there Add a comma
history,
has
been Change the verb form
have
numberous
events that Correct your spelling
numerous
has
Change the verb form
have
transipired
. Families were separated by wars, natural disasters, slavery, and job Correct your spelling
transpired
oppurtunities
. There Correct your spelling
opportunities
were
no communication between family Change the verb form
was
mebers
, and it resulted Correct your spelling
members
to
individuals not knowing where their family came from or what their identity truly Change preposition
in
is
. Wrong verb form
was
For example
, in the 17th century, many Africans were transported to the USA to become slaves. This
massive human exploitation has lead
to a huge population of black Wrong verb form
led
americans
in several states and most of them have no idea of their origin.
Change the capitalization
Americans
To conclude
, tracing one's root
is important because it gives people Fix the agreement mistake
roots
Correct article usage
a glimps
glimps
Correct your spelling
glimpse
to
the health conditions that they are more at risk Change preposition
into
at
. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, It is also
important since it gives a person a sense of identity.Submitted by justinedanillee on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear rephrasing of the prompt and a thesis statement. The conclusion is not strong and does not summarize the main points effectively. The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and linking devices.
task achievement
The essay only partially addresses the prompt and lacks a clear position on whether the trend is positive or negative. The ideas are not fully developed and there is a lack of relevant examples to support the points made.