some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level

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Some people argue that fine arts are as significant as other education topics, particularly at the primary level. When we consider all biological and physical benefits of musical, artwork and drama since children start their

first

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year in school. I totally agree that the importance of fine arts is undeniable.

Although

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music,

art

Use synonyms

and drama's effects are not as visible as science's in our lives, it has a big impact on our

brain

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development since childhood period.

This

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is because it can be said that artwork stimulates different parts of the

brain

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and creates new neuron connections between

brain

Use synonyms

lobes.

For example

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, a neurological study published by the University of Hong Kong shows that 73% of successful mathematic scientists started to take piano lessons at primary school and their bain maps prove that their numeric skills are better than those who have no any

art

Use synonyms

-related background. Another striking point regarding

art

Use synonyms

importance is it is grifted with science , as fine

art

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contributes to inspiring aspects.

Furthermore

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, many other science-related areas

such

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as hospitals are using musical, painting , acting works

besides

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their drug medications to help their patients.

For instance

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, At Oxford University , cancer patients were asked if they would like to have a screen that contains acting show, relaxing meditation music or drawing skills during their chemotherapy sessions and 87% of them said

because

Correct pronoun usage

it because

show examples

of the pain-relieving effect of it. To conclude,

art

Use synonyms

is as significant as other school subjects,

as a result

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, these kinds of educational topics should be considered at the same level as the other topics from the

first

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step of the education life. as it can be seen how essential in terms of kids'

brain

Use synonyms

development and in treatment methods too.

Submitted by orkan_irmak on Mon Feb 22 2021

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

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