Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Education is a key part of once life , it

shape

Change the verb form

shapes

show examples

up people life as well as it constructs our country's future. Based on

individual's

Add an article

the individual's

an individual's

show examples

point of view, some people believe kid's free

time

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

to be educational, whereas

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

strongly oppose

this

Linking Words

view. According to

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

, It shouldn't be educational. Below are some arguments to support my view. To commence with, children's leisure

time

Use synonyms

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

own

time

Use synonyms

, so parents should let them decide how they want to spend it. Other than the school

time

Use synonyms

, if offsprings again

utilises

Change the verb form

utilise

show examples

their free

time

Use synonyms

as an educational activity , it will become

Correct your spelling

monotonous

monotous

Correct article usage

a monotous

show examples

task. To

examplify

Correct your spelling

exemplify

, it is often observed that , by doing so ,

Correct your spelling

children

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

are not able to concentrate on any task and

also

Linking Words

, it increases their anxiety level .

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will gonna impact once social life ,

hence

Linking Words

they won't be able to

co-ordinate

Correct your spelling

coordinate

show examples

with their friends or teammates in any sports

activities

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, physical growth is

also

Linking Words

as important as mental growth. Parents and teachers must

encaurage

Correct your spelling

encourage

children to participate in

such

Linking Words

kind of

activities

Use synonyms

. As a consequence of

this

Linking Words

, their

stemina

Correct your spelling

stamina

increases and

also

Linking Words

they gonna learn about team spirit which will help them to become a good person of society.For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

example , the world's

renouned

Correct your spelling

renowned

and famous companies like

facebook

Change the capitalization

Facebook

show examples

and google

also

Linking Words

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

their employees to be

jack

Add an article

a jack

the jack

show examples

of all

traits

Correct the spelling

trades

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, they will understand how to handle both success and failure and

appriciate

Correct your spelling

appreciate

others

Replace the word

other

show examples

efforts. To put it in a nuts shell, it should be up to the children , how they want to use it.

In addition

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

parents and teachers

responsibilites

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

responsibility

to help kid's , so they can

understantd

Correct your spelling

understand

importance

Correct article usage

the importance

show examples

of both mental and physical

activities

Use synonyms

Submitted by pragnapatel027 on Mon Feb 22 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

297 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Employers should give their staff at least four weeks' holiday a year to make employees better at their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The idea that providing employees with at least four weeks of holiday annually can enhance their performance at work is a contentious topic. While there are merits to this argument, the extent to which it holds true depends on various factors, including the nature of the work, the organizational culture, and individual preferences.
5.5
band
In many countries, owning a home rather than renting one is deeply valued. This cultural inclination towards homeownership can be attributed to several key factors.
Firstly, owning a home provides a sense of support and care. Unlike renting, homeownership offers a long-term residence. This balance allows man and families to establish roots in a association,
6
band
Some people say that music is good way of bringin people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some people believe that music can be a great way to socialise with other people regardless of their culture or age. I completely agree with the idea that music is a universal subject and in this essay I will explain more detail this statement.
6
band
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While some people argue that competition should motivate children, others believe that they should be taught how to cooperate, rather than compete, for adulthood. From my point of view, although both play a significant role in the children’s education, cooperation is more crucial to their social and personal development as a future adult.
4.5
band
City dwellers seldom socialize with their neighbors today, and the sense of community has been lost. Why did this happen? And how can this be solved?
Residents living in the cities tend to have fewer connections with their neighbors today, which can lead to a sense of isolation. In my view, it is the diverse bachgrounds of dewellers and their rising dependent on digital devices that lead to this situation. However, there are severals suggestions that will potentially alleviate this problem.

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time

Fully explain your ideas

Employers should give their staff at least four weeks' holiday a year to make employees better at their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, owning a home rather than renting one is deeply valued. This cultural inclination towards homeownership can be attributed to several key factors.

Some people say that music is good way of bringin people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

City dwellers seldom socialize with their neighbors today, and the sense of community has been lost. Why did this happen? And how can this be solved?