IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people say that what children watch influences their behaviour. other believe the amount of time they spent on television influence their behaviour most. discuss the both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #influences #behaviour #amount #time #television #influence
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No doubt
behaviour
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 represents the personality of an individual assignment of
society
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 believe that what children watch
influence
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 them and their
behaviour
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 while other points that the most amount of time spent on television watching
influence
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pupils
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behaviour
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 most I would like to delve both the arguments before upsurging and opinion
To begin
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 ,with
behaviour
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 is vital for an individual in the
society
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 peoples watch a
lot
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 of things happening around them in the house and
Society
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 all things implement on the
People
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's life and they visualise a
lot
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 of stuff in house like the body language of their parents and how their respect each other and show their love and communicate with each other
pupils
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 visualised all the things and apply and do an experiment in their own life which affect their life and
behaviour
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 and
Society
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 is
also
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 show both the positive and negative tops which
people
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 visualised all around them in the
society
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such
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 as road racing crime steps physical activities and all
this
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 type of visualisation affect
pupils
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hence
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 everything
pupils
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 visualised around them
influence
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 their
behaviour
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 On the other ,hand watching
TV
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influence
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people
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 most in both ways positive and negative there are a
lot
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 of negative effects which affect
people
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's
behaviour
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 like they spend a
lot
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 of time watching
TV
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 shows which affect their eyesight cause it takes a
lot
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 of concentration to watch
TV
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 and spending a
lot
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 of timing watching
TV
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 effect to take no interest in physical activities which affect their health and create health issues
furthermore
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 there are
also
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 positive effects like gaining of knowledge by the Science channel and news channels To conclude considering all the points mentioned above it is implicated that the visualisation of staff in
society
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 and home
influence
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pupils
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behaviour
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 and
also
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 watching
TV
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 has its benefits and bad effects.
Submitted by naresh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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