IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times. What is the cause? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

#people #city #lives #change #times #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently,
people
Use synonyms
 change their living
place
Use synonyms
time
Change preposition
from time
show examples
 to time due to various reasons.
However
Linking Words
, in the past, they lived in one
place
Use synonyms
 forever. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 moving from one
place
Use synonyms
 to another is
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 expensive, I believe it is a positive development in the long run. The most compelling reason for changing the city where you have born and raised is seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
better opportunities. Most of the young
people
Use synonyms
 go to new places to acquire better academic qualifications.
For instance
Linking Words
, some rural areas often do not have reputable universities.
Hence
Linking Words
, students move to
urburn
Correct your spelling
urban
burn
 cities to complete their tertiary education. Not only young but
also
Linking Words
 middle-aged
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 are moving to acquire better
employments
Correct your spelling
employment
show examples
. In most of the countries, better employment opportunities are concentrated in main cities.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 move to these places to uplift their living conditions.
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
 of positive aspects can be obtained from
this
Linking Words
 trend.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can expand their horizon. Many
people
Use synonyms
 in villages do not have comfortable
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
 because of poor transportation facilities, schools, healthcare systems and so on. Once they move to
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
place
Use synonyms
, they can get a better
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, only distinct cities have reputable universities as it takes a lot of effort to maintain high standards.
Therefore
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 can most likely achieve academic success and develop their skills by moving out
from
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
 their home town.
Thus
Linking Words
, there are several merits of moving
Use synonyms
place
Change preposition
from place
show examples
 to
place
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in recent years,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to change their living places to obtain better exposure. I suppose
this
Linking Words
 is advantageous as they can acquire comfortable life standards as well as education.
Hence
Linking Words
, no one should be reluctant to change where they live.
Submitted by gayani_np on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: