IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

It is widely acknowledged that there has been a drastic increase in the number of overweight
people
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.
Although
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this
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 negative development can be attributed to a number of reasons, both individuals and governments can take steps to remedy the situation. Two main factors are to blame for the rise in
obesity
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.
First
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,
people
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 nowadays are experiencing a much more sedentary lifestyle than those in the past.
For example
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, most of us, especially school students and office workers spend hours a day sitting and working behind a desk, which causes them not only
obesity
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 but
also
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 other health-related diseases
such
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 as diabetes.
Second
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, a lot of
people
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 often incline to unhealthy diets due to their tastiness and convenience. The tendency to eat unhealthily, coupled with a lack of exercise, has made a great number of
people
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 overweight. There are measures that could be implemented to deal with these root causes of
obesity
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.
To begin
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 with, parents are expected to keep track of their children's eating habits as well as to ensure that they follow a healthy diet. By building a healthy eating pattern at an early age, children are more likely to keep it as they mature, which would help them avoid overeating and being overweight.
Furthermore
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, the government could play an integral role in investing, taxes to build up free public fitness parks and run health-awareness campaigns for their citizens.
This
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 would not only stimulate
people
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's eagerness to join in free exercise
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 educate them about the consequences and benefits of a sedentary lifestyle and an active one respectively. In conclusion, the surge in
obesity
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 rates can be ascribed to a decline in physical activity level and unhealthy diets, and the solution would lie in developing healthy eating habits in children, free fitness facilities, and awareness-raising campaigns.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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