New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time . do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#technologies #children #time

Although

the

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technological advancement plays an important role in human's life,which leads to changing the way people, especially

children

spend their free

time

.while

this

trend has some benefits for

children

. In my

opnion

Correct your spelling

opinion

, I consider that the adverse effects of technology on

children

outweigh its

advatages

Correct your spelling

advantages

. On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why technological advancement is beneficial for students.

First

and foremost, in

the

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light of the enhancement of the internet, pupils can learn myriad subjects in their free

time

For example

youngster

Add an article

a youngster

the youngster

show examples

can watch

National

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the National

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Geographic channel which provides information on the wildlife animals

such

as Tiger,Lions or crocodile etcetera.

In addition

teenager

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a teenager

the teenager

show examples

can use social networking sites

for

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,for

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instance , Facebook and Instagram to make friends from

the

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apply

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overseas countries which can fraternize their relationships in future and enhance their

knowlege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

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foreign traditions, cultures, history and languages.

On the other hand

, despite some benefits, I believe that using technology in kid's free

time

have

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has

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far more drawbacks than its

benfits

Correct your spelling

benefits

Firstly

,adolescents sticking their eyes on computer screens, mobile phone, laptops and other gadgets excessively are most

oftenly

Correct your spelling

often

suffered

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

various health ailments. To illustrate, obesity,

short- sightedness

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short-sightedness

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,back-pain and headache.

In other words

, they become potato couch sitting on

theirs

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their

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sofas

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apply

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their whole

time

Secondly

, some parents who have busy schedule are unable to devote their certain

time

to their offsprings and equip them with gadgets. They are less likely to involve in other outside activities and exploring

natural

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the natural

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environment.

This

leads to communication problems when

children

move out of their houses to socialise in schools, events and various functions because they lack confidence and do not know how to communicate as they spend their maximum

time

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apply

show examples

playing games and make animated characters their friends. In conclusion, modern technologies have some benefits

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

;

however

, I believe it requires much more surveillance and caution to operate the technology properly by

children

Submitted by kawallahoria12 on Tue Feb 23 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Digital literacy
Cyberbullying
Sedentary lifestyle
Inappropriate content
Self-learning
Screen time
Social inequality
Enhanced communication
Creative expression
Educational resources

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time . do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Employers should give their staff at least four weeks' holiday a year to make employees better at their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas in words, pictures, music, or film, in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and trainings are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both theese attitudes and give your own opinion.