IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#computers #basis #world #classrooms #programs #purposes #dependence #risk #students
The integration of digital devices into classes and teaching methods have been a controversial subject. Many people believe that personal
computers
 are essential and must be used in classrooms, while others argue that using technological machines have some negative effects that cannot be neglected. In my opinion, having silver screens in classrooms is necessary for the upcoming life.
To begin
 with, involving digital devices in classrooms and for ,teaching goals help students to be computer-literate as well as teach them how to synthesise research because pupils who are used to explore scientific websites are better equipped to differentiate between facts and false arguments and they are better suited for the modern world.For an instance, In the USA a majority of students are autonomous learners due to the high usage of laptops, PC, and mobile phones in the learning process. In today's world, learners are required to know basic technological devices skills which can be only taught by integrating them into their lives.
On the other hand
, depending on
computers
 from a young age has hazardous effects and may result in detrimental situations.
In other words
, the high usage of
computers
 develops sedentary lifestyles among youngsters.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 which increases isolation and gives a rise to health issues,
Such
 as : obesity , backbone deformation,
For example
, an average USA student tends to sit in front of a computer for no less than 3 hours in which he may order fast food,
that is
 rich in saturated fats and sugars. In general, some detrimental health issues like the problem of eye vision may
also
 arise from sitting in front of a computer for long sessions. In conclusion, it is certain that excessive use of
computers
 have damaging results which might increase if laptops are used by students.
However
, I believe that using a computer is necessary for one's life.
Submitted by rajeev kumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: