IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession, what factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it.

#university #graduates #job #profession #factors #situation
How many university students are forced to choose a profession which is not aligned with the following graduation programme each year? Even though someone could argue that
anyway
Replace the word
any way
show examples
 they are not unemployed and have a way to move forward with life, will they be honestly satisfied?
This
 is a huge issue that most current
graduates
 face every year. One of the main causes
for
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
this
 situation is the outdated courses which are not adjusted according to the current market trends. Because of that, the
graduates
 will find a massive gap between the university and industry which will affect their capability to perform well. It is common to see that currently ,many companies conduct onboarding sessions and training sessions for fresh
graduates
 who just joined the company. So, companies have expanded the chosen degree programs for a particular role as anyway they have to train
graduates
 for it from the beginning. Another reason would be allowing students to get enrolled with the courses without thinking about the actual requirement of the industry.
This
 leads to an overwhelming number of
graduates
 will be available for
few
Add an article
a few
show examples
 opportunities, which will force some of them to find a profession even if it does not directly go along with the speciality.
Many
Replace the quantifier
Much
show examples
 physical
science
Change to a plural noun
sciences
show examples
 studying students
finally
 have to choose different professions due to
this
 reason. Conducting
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
realistic research on current market trends in the industry is required to rectify
this
 issue. Graduation programmes need to be adjusted and intake needs to be limited so that
graduates
 will find more aligned professions with the courses and expectations.
Submitted by gayani_np on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • graduate job placement
  • current job market trends
  • practical experience
  • job openings
  • employment prospects
  • geographical barriers
  • automation and technological advances
  • economic conditions
  • mismatch between education and job market demands
  • over-saturation
  • theoretical knowledge
  • competitive job market
What to do next:
Look at other essays: