Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

There are differing views regarding whether global
news
should be made a
subject
in secondary schools or not. In my opinion, making international headlines as a required
subject
in school is worth it, because it could ignite motivation for
students
future
excellence. On the one hand,
students
do not get direct benefits for their
future
careers if they study international
news
. Knowing information on current events,
such
as tsunamis or wars, may not provide evident skills to increase their chances of getting good jobs. That’s why, some people think it will be better if
students
allocate their valuable time to learn relevant studies, like math or science.
However
, I do not think all
students
want to be a scientist or an engineer. Exploring global
news
,
for instance
, may grow their interest in journalism.
On the other hand
, studying
news
around the world has the power to motivate
future
excellence in
students
. When schools make international
news
a required
subject
in school, they will be exposed to headlines that shape the world today and inspire them to
also
make meaningful contributions in the
future
.
For example
, entrepreneur Jeff Bezos built a company,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Blue Origin, and launched a rocket to space, He was inspired because he saw the
news
of the first man who landed on the moon when he was a child. In conclusion,
while
studying global
news
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
not directly benefit
students
future
careers, it has the potential to motivate
future
excellence in
students
, and,
therefore
should be included as a mandatory
subject
in secondary education.
Submitted by desyaf99 on

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vocabulary
Try to enhance your essay by diversifying your vocabulary. While your use of language is clear and communicates your points well, using a wider range of vocabulary can make your argument more sophisticated and engaging.
grammar
Remember to proofread your work for any potential errors. For instance, '...while studying global news is not directly benefit students’ future careers...' could be refined to '...while studying global news may not directly benefit students’ future careers...'. Attention to detail can improve the overall presentation and effectiveness of your argument.
argumentation
Consider integrating opposing viewpoints more thoroughly by acknowledging their validity before presenting your counter-argument. This strategy can enrich the depth of your discussion and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task response
You provided a balanced discussion on both views regarding the inclusion of international news in the secondary school curriculum before stating your own opinion clearly. This structure is effective in fully addressing the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a clear, logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments. The transition between paragraphs and points contributes to the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
specific example
The use of specific examples, such as Jeff Bezos and the Blue Origin, is an excellent way to support your arguments. This approach provides concrete evidence to strengthen your claims and makes your argument more persuasive.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global awareness
  • Critical thinking
  • Global citizenship
  • Cultural diversity
  • Communication skills
  • Historical context
  • World affairs
  • Academic subjects
  • Bias
  • Misinformation
  • Age-appropriate
  • Media literacy
  • Educational enrichment
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