Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
era of advancement in medical technology, numerous people
are living more
longer than before, Change the word
apply
hence
many of them thinks
that the retirement Change the verb form
think
age
must be escalated resaonably
. Correct your spelling
reasonably
However
in Add a comma
,However
this
essay, I would like to explain the advantageous points in support of my opnion
that; Yes the person must be given more years to work.
Correct your spelling
opinion
Firstly
, as the living standard, air quality and medical facilites
are proliferating in a Correct your spelling
facilities
benificial
way, the life span of an individual has been Correct your spelling
beneficial
incresed
, so as the older Correct your spelling
increased
age
duration. The negative aspect of this
is mashrooming
depression in jobless old Correct your spelling
mushrooming
age
people
. Nevertheless
, the work would definately
keep them busy, abate the mental anxiety and Correct your spelling
definitely
emptness
of mind Correct your spelling
emptiness
then
social circle in their lives. Replace the word
than
This
will be a great help for them to cope up, hence
considered positively.
Secondly
, a number of senior citizens, in their later stage of lives, becomes finantially
poor and unable to fulfil their day to day Correct your spelling
financially
expences
. Correct your spelling
expenses
In
Change preposition
As
the
result of Correct article usage
a
this
they are bound to depend on their children or Add a comma
,this
care taker
and maximally exposed to mental as well as physical exploitation. To lessen the impact of these factors elderly Correct your spelling
caretaker
people
must be allowed to work beyond their retirement age
, moreover
they should be supported by giving light and smooth job as per their physical capability.
Add a comma
,moreover
Lastly
, to conclude, I would like to say that the advantages of enhancing Correct your spelling
retirement
retierment
Correct article usage
the retierment
age
are several and absolutely supportive to
the old Verify preposition usage
of
people
. They may find, financial freedom, new friends of their age
and thats
how they can set up a support group for themselves, which will be Correct your spelling
that's
the
vital aspect for their beings. Their minds will be nourished by providing them Correct article usage
a
the
opportunity to think that they are still useful for Add the preposition
with the
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Hence
I strongly support to
the statement, that Change preposition
apply
age
of retirement should be Correct article usage
the age
streched
Correct your spelling
stretched
furthermore
.Submitted by drvaishalikhare on
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Fully explain your ideas
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- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
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