Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many
people
think that it is necessary to pay attention
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
gap
between poverty and wealthy in
society
rather than a happy
society
. It is a tendency to believe that
happy
Correct article usage
a happy
show examples
society
is the best goal for global citizens.
However
, there are many complex problems hiding in our
society
and the main problem is the difference
benefit
Change preposition
in benefit
show examples
earnings of the richest and
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
show examples
. According to
this
point of view, there are many indications to value the happiness of
people
in
society
.
However
, the government should concern about the
gap
of
wealthy
Correct article usage
the wealthy
show examples
as the major problem.
For example
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
economic management should be balanced whether the local business or the global business to ensure that the local workers are received the fairness income.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
the big company
ahould
Correct your spelling
should
invest in
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
community to open more opportunity to poor
people
that have no chance to apply directly their business.
Furthermore
, the advantages of
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
the
gap
of
wealthy
Add an article
the wealthy
show examples
in
society
can reduce
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
crimes in
society
as well. Most of the crimes in
busling
Correct your spelling
bustling
cities are robbing which is happened because of homeless
people
.
Hence
, if there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
poverty problems, it will enhance the happiness
society
Change preposition
of society
show examples
in a long term. In conclusion, there are many benefits of reducing the
gap
of
wealthy
Add an article
the wealthy
show examples
in
society
. I strongly agreed
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
essay that we need
focus
Add the particle
to focus
show examples
on the poverty problems in our
society
and solve
this
problem as much as we can.
This
will results
Change preposition
in the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
happiness
society
in the long term and sustainable ways.
Submitted by noppapat_k on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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