In many countries, small shops and town centers are going out of business because people tend to drive to the large out-of-town stores. This results in an increase in car use, and it also means that people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores. Do you think the advantages of such development outweigh its disadvantages?

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People

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start businesses to earn money even a small business or a multinational business. Nowadays

people

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travel to cities to do shopping in their vehicles and

people

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who do not have a vehicle often visit the local

shops

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This

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trend decreases the village business profit. Both have pros and cons.

However

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, the small

shops

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should overcome the financial burdens.

consequently

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, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

This

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essay will explain the advantages and disadvantages of

this

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new trend in the ensuing paragraphs.

To begin

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with,

people

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run towards sales.

This

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is one of the main reasons that everyone goes shopping in the shopping malls. The individual wants to spend only half of the money in the city as they are spending at the local shop.

Moreover

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, travelling to the outer village by vehicle is harmful to nature. It can increase

pollution

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like, sound

pollution

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, air

pollution

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and so on.

For example

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, vehicle fuel emission increases air

pollution

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which causes globalization.

Therefore

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, travelling downtown for shopping can pose many hazards to the environment.

On the other hand

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, obtaining household products and clothes from the

shops

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that have in the village will grow the economy of the local community and small businesses. If they have more sales they sell products at a discount and it can reduce money spending.

Furthermore

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, villages will establish and become available for more number of

shops

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and employment opportunities.

This

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helps

people

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with no car, everything will be easily available from their local community and they do not try to buy vehicles.

As a result

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, environmental issues will be reduced and

people

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can live without disease that causes

pollution

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To conclude

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, many products are available in the city and

people

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buy things on a deal.

However

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, it is the reason for many environmental issues.

Nevertheless

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, shopping from local

shops

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can be beneficial for local businesses and nature itself.

Hence

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, it provides more drawbacks than benefits.

rinuthomasmathew07Sat Nov 18 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Your introduction sets the stage for the topic, but it should more precisely preview the points you will discuss. The conclusion also needs to summarize your key points more effectively.

logical structure

Your essay does follow a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use cohesive devices to better link sentences and paragraphs.

supported main points

Main points should be developed more thoroughly with clear explanations and more specific examples. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details.

complete response

Make sure to fully address the questions and provide a balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages. Each view should be explored and supported with examples or evidence.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure that your ideas are conveyed clearly and comprehensively. Work on providing further elaboration on your points to fully develop your argument.

relevant specific examples

Provide specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. Avoid generic statements by using concrete illustrations from real life or hypothetical scenarios.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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