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Band 4.5

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#computer #effects #children
In
this
 era of technology .
computer
 play a crucial role in
everday
Correct your spelling
everyday
 life.
children
 like to work on
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
 and they learn many new
things
 from the
computer
 which is helpful to them in future. According to my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
computer
 have
a positive effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive effect
positive effects
show examples
 on
everyday
Add an article
the everyday
show examples
 life of
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
. Every coin has two sides like head and tail so
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 with the technology it depends
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
children
 how it takes the benefit of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
that. Today in
this
 modern era
computer
 is very important to get
things
 done at
time
Add an article
the time
a time
show examples
 . we all know about
this
panademic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
 condition nobody allowed to go outside . And online study
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
children
 to learn and get
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 subjects done. they make
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 assignments on
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
 and submit
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 their teacher online. If there is no technology how they fight
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that virus .
Furthermore
,
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 are important to their parents they should keep eye on
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 kids that they use
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
 in a wrong or right manner or what they
are learn
Change the verb form
are learning
show examples
 on there check them twice . how they use the
computer
 they learn
things
 from that or they just play games on laptops . Parents need to help
ther
Correct your spelling
their
the
children
 to show them educational sites or eductions games which help them to improve
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 skills.
Sowith
Correct your spelling
So with
With
this
 way
computer
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 positive effects , In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 just wanna say that
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both pros and cons so
its
Change the pronoun
they
it
show examples
 depend upon us how we get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
. so if we get positively
then
 all the effects are positive
nad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 helpful in our future .
Submitted by Kamal on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
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