IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

TOO MANY OLD HISTORIC BUILDINGS ARE IN DANGER AND DESTROYED IN MANY COUNTRIES. WHAT ARE THE MAIN REASON? HOW TO PROTECT THEM?

#buildings #danger #countries #reason
There are those who have the belief that when getting to know a place or a culture, the best manner is doing it alone, while others think that travelling accompanied is better.
This
 essay discusses both points of view and
then
 I will give my own opinion which is that the best trip experiences are when
one
 has others along to share their moments. There are several reasons why is better to travel alone to experience a new country or culture.
One
 of them is the freedom of choice the traveller has, not having to consider others’ will.
This
 enables
one
 to do everything he planned and want to,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 they could have to discuss with their partners their opinions and preferences, and may not be able to do something desired. Another reason is the opportunity for the individual to have their own view of that experience, not being influenced by others’ perceptions.
Otherwise
,
one
 could have their thoughts manipulated because of others’ thinking and not enjoy as much as possible.
On the other hand
, to travel accompanied have their benefits.
To begin
 with, it is safer. It is important to have people you trust and you can count on, especially when visiting an unknown location. It is not unusual to have some minor accident while travelling and is enormously handful to have someone familiar around to get help.
Additionally
,
one
 of the most pleasing ways to fully enjoy a trip is having others to share their discoveries and unique moments. In conclusion, both sides have their merits.
However
, in my opinion, the advantages of travelling accompanied,
such
 as safety and experience sharing, outweigh the benefits of travelling alone, like the independence and the lack of others’ influence.
Submitted by eduardamallmann on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: