In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

In a few locations in the US, a complete lockdown is implemented, in which young
people
without the company of
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
are restricted
to go
Change preposition
from going
show examples
out after a specific
time
at dark.
This
essay agrees with the statement. I believe that
elders
Change noun form
elders'
elder's
show examples
supervision is important especially at
night
times to control and monitor their behaviour and to protect them from any unexpected dangers from
society
at
night
times. On the one hand, few
people
argue that no one has the right to restrict the freedom of
teenagers
as
this
is against their fundamental rights. Imposing
lockdown
Fix the agreement mistake
lockdowns
show examples
in certain locations of the country will have a psychological impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
which will have a negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
when they grow
as
Change preposition
up as
show examples
an
adult
.
For example
, it is like putting them behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bars like criminals even though they do not
make
Verb problem
commit
show examples
a crime.
This
will create a type of frustration and give wild thoughts to the
teenagers
and may spoil their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and ultimately damage the complete
society
.
On the other hand
, adults shadowing young
people
is necessary as most teens get attracted to bad habits
such
as smoking, drinking, and drugs
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
areas of the country. In one's life, the teenage
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
a critical role,
this
is the
time
for anyone to either make their
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
break their
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
.
For example
, sixty per cent of the
people
who are addicted to drugs started their habit between the age group of fourteen and nineteen
due to
lack of
adult
supervision.
Furthermore
, most of the deaths caused during
night
Correct your spelling
nighttime
show examples
time
are
due to
the rash driving of
teenagers
.
This
shows the need to restrict
teenagers
during
night
Correct your spelling
nighttime
show examples
time
by stopping them
to go
Change preposition
from going
show examples
out or having an
adult
monitored
Wrong verb form
monitor
show examples
when
Correct pronoun usage
them when
show examples
they are out in
dark
Correct article usage
the dark
show examples
. In conclusion,
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
regions of the country imposed a curfew for
teenagers
and allowed them to go out only under
adult
supervision. In my opinion, I believe lockdown at
night
time
is the right thing to control
teenagers
as their aggressive nature may harm
themself
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
as well as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
unless they are controlled by adults during the
night
.
Submitted by jj on

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coherence cohesion
Your response demonstrates a satisfactory level of coherence and cohesion. However, there are instances where the logical structure of the essay could be improved for clearer progression of ideas.
task response
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument and offering relevant examples to support your points. However, be cautious of presenting a balanced view and avoiding bias in your arguments to enhance your task achievement.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enforce
  • juvenile
  • repercussions
  • autonomy
  • adolescence
  • paternalistic
  • delinquency
  • municipality
  • ordinance
  • authoritarian
  • peer pressure
  • social dynamics
  • civil liberties
  • community policing
  • preventative measures
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