it is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#college #students #schools #home #parents

It is generally true that many undergraduate

students

should choose to live with their families, whilst some

students

are living independently when they are enrolled in college.

While

this

may beneficial to some people to live with family, I would argue that

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

should be encouraged to live

Change preposition

show examples

schools campus

Fix the agreement mistake

school campuses

show examples

. On the one hand, there are numerous benefits why people choose to live with their families

while

they are studying at University.

Firstly

students

who live with their parents, do not need to worry about making meals or

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

because their mothers can prepare

healthily

Change the word

healthy

show examples

and nutritious food for the whole family.

For example

, if they have to make their own food, they could eat an excessive amount of processed products or junk food, which will

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

a detrimental effect on health

such

as obesity and diarrhoea.

Secondly

, as

students

live with their families, they do not have to pay for

living

Correct article usage

a living

show examples

For instance

, if they decide to move out and rent an apartment, they will soon face financial difficulties because of the rental cost and paying for essential things on a limited budget.

On the other hand

, there are various reasons why

students

would move out and live

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

own. The first reason is that if

students

reside in a college hostel, they will have a chance to interact with roommates and international

students

This

they will be exposed to different cultures, customs and traditions which are really helpful for their lives.

Furthermore

, in order to earn money for expenses, many

students

have work part-time jobs.

This

is because they will learn soft skills

as well as

broaden their knowledge of particular field job opportunities after they

graduated

Wrong verb form

graduate

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

there are some benefits of living with family, it seems to me that

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

live

independent

Change the word

independently

show examples

in order to gain some skills and knowledge.

Submitted by patelmihir063 on Fri Feb 26 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument.

coherence cohesion

Provide a stronger introduction and conclusion that clearly engage with the topic and provide a thesis statement.

task achievement

Ensure that each point directly relates to the prompt and provides sufficient supporting evidence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it better to invest in preventative measures” To what extent do you agree
Prevention is always better than cure this statement is true . Investigating and then treating diseases is very costly people should take care of their health by taking some preventative measures such as doing health check-ups periodically , dieting and exercising. I totally agree with this statement and further in this essay ,I will explain my thoughts with some examples.
4.5
band
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that Governments impose extra taxes on flights to restrict tourism industry. It is undeniable that tourism has become an essential part of our life.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that Governments impose extra taxes on flights to restrict tourism industry. It is undeniable that tourism has become an essential part of our life. However, these days tourism creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, transport and polluted water.
5
band
In many countries large amounts of foods are wasted. Why do you think people waste food in this way? What can be done to reduce the amount of food thrown away?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that in some countries large amounts of food are wasted, it is undeniable that food become an essential part of our life. However, there is no absolute agreement on whether wasting food is normal or whether people should take action to save food.
5.5
band
Some people believe that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes.Other think that it is better to produce these locally.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is believed that importing foreign movies and TV programmes is a good way to promote a country 's culture while others argue that those social platforms should be only produced on a local scale.Persuading people to view foreign movies and TV programmes helps them to understand more about any country 's cultural values on a global scale whereas producing their own movies and films can greatly cut cost . This author agrees with both of these statements and will demonstrate why throughout the essay.
5
band
Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Music has a really big impact on many people's lives, it has become a hobby and also part of their lifestyle. It is often played in so many places that we visit, like in a supermarket so the customers can enjoy their shopping. A lot of different genres in music make music more relatable and you can choose what kind of music you want to hear. By that, i totally agree that music can reduce stress and anxiety.

it is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it better to invest in preventative measures” To what extent do you agree

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that Governments impose extra taxes on flights to restrict tourism industry. It is undeniable that tourism has become an essential part of our life.

In many countries large amounts of foods are wasted. Why do you think people waste food in this way? What can be done to reduce the amount of food thrown away?

Some people believe that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes.Other think that it is better to produce these locally.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?