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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, parents expect children to spend long time studying both in and after school, and have less free time. Do you think it has the positive or negative effects on children and society?

#countries #parents #children #time #school #effects #society
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in several countries,
children
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 are expected to spend a long
time
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 both in and after
school
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 by parents. So,
children
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 only have less free
time
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. in my opinion, it can be a bad impact on
children
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 growth ,especially in their society. A
parent
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 who forces their
children
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 to do a lot of
activty
Correct your spelling
activity
 can make kid tired and under pressure, especially an activity that child does not like to do. Some
parent
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 provides their
children
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 many courses after
school
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 with some purpose, like
parent
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 hope
they
Correct the word
the
show examples
children
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 will become smarter, and when parents busy,
children
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 will not out of control.
kid
Add an article
the kid
a kid
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 who
have
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has
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 less free
time
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 can make
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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be an ambitious and perfectionist person.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will think that playing is a bad thing that makes them stupid and causes get the lowest rank or score in
school
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.
As a result
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, they will do anything to be a winner, even though, it is negative action and another impact is they usually do not have a specific plan for the future because there
is
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are
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 many things that they specialist. Other impact,
children
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 tend to be anti-social. usually, a typical
a
Correct article usage
apply
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person like
this
Linking Words
prefer
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prefers
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 to be alone to achieve their goal. It is happening because they used to study and study every
time
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 without had
an
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the
show examples
 experience to interact with other people.
children
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 who growth like
this
Linking Words
 usually have a problem to
be mingle
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mingle
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 with other people and not confident in public. based on my experience,
i
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I
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 become overthinking and not confident, because
i
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I
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 spend my
time
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 by a study in and after
school
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 and never experience to join the organization until I was in high
school
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. in conclusion, as a
parent
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 we do not need to force
children
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 to do everything, we must know what
children
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 like, so we can improve the
children
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 skill. Having a lot of free
time
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 is not a mistake, with much
time
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,
children
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 can explore everything and
also
Linking Words
 build their confidence. In the end, our
children
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 can be a person who survives in society.
Submitted by michellina594 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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