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Writing Samples
Band 4

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art.? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

#art #part #society #expression #culture #children #focus #subjects
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People generally believe that
art
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 is a vital component of national culture.
Although
Linking Words
 I agree that it is essential for
children
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 to learn relevant knowledge of
art
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, I do not think it is necessary to
focus
Verify preposition usage
onfocus
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children
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's study on
art
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subjects
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. There are some reasons why
children
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 should acquire
art
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 knowledge. On the one hand,
art
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 is a cultural expression of one country's history. It is derived from remote ancestors' life experience , knowledge, and imagination.
Art
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 is
also
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 associated with national core values and identities, which should be passed onto young generations by having lessons in the classroom. Being taught the importance of national
art
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,
a
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apply
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strong social bonding will be formed among youngsters.
On the other hand
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,
art
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 contains universal values of
human
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humanity
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. People around the world share
the
Change the article
an
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 identical taste
of
Change preposition
in
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 classical music and painting. Viewing from
this
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 perspective,
art
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 classes would enhance
children
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's ability to appreciate masterpieces.
However
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, I believe that there is no need to request
children
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 to concentrate on learning
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art
Add an article
the art
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. In my point of view, students should be entitled to choose
subjects
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 according to their interests as well as
natural
Add an article
a natural
show examples
 gift. If they show a higher level of performances in playing music or painting, it is reasonable for parents to encourage them and invest money in professional lessons.
By contrast
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, schools and family members should not force
children
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 to take
art
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 lessons when they are more interested in or good at scientific
subjects
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. In conclusion, it is not imperative to encourage
children
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 to learn
art
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subjects
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, regardless of
diverse
Correct article usage
the diverse
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 benefits of acquiring
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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