IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in such countries discuss ways to solve the problems. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer

#obesity #countries #support
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Due to
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
show examples
 lifestyle, people have gained an enormous amount of weight.
This
 is an alarming situation in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nations. In
this
 essay, we will discuss various steps to
oversome
Correct your spelling
overcome
this
 condition.
To begin
 with,
diet
 is predominantly the most crucial part of a healthy lifestyle.
One
 should lay emphasis on green vegetables and fresh
fruuits
Correct your spelling
fruits
 and incorporate these items
in
Verify preposition usage
into
show examples
 their
diet
.
This
 would
subsequently
, replenish their body with required nutrients.
For example
, consuming two bananas everyday can
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the requirement of
potasium
Correct your spelling
potassium
 in
one
's body.
additionally
, a
low calorie
Add a hyphen
low-calorie
show examples
diet
 can make a considerable amount of difference and help in
Replace the word
losing
show examples
loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
show examples
 weight.
Therefore
, it is advisable to
matain
Correct your spelling
maintain
 a healthy way of
livoing
Correct your spelling
living
.
Moreover
, exercise is considered an integral part of
one
's life.
One
 who engages in physical activity on daily basis would develop a considerable amount of fitness.
This
subsequently
, can lead to loss of excess fat and build lean muscle mass. For
isntance
Correct your spelling
instance
, performing burpees and high jumps can help to remove
excessive
Replace the word
excess
show examples
 fat from
belly
Add an article
the belly
show examples
.
Thus
, an ideal body can be achieved with
regular
Add an article
a regular
show examples
 fitness activity. To sum up, regular workout and nutritious
diet
 should be incorporated
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
daily
Add an article
the daily
show examples
 regime. After a thorough analysis
on
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
this
 subject, it can be
consluded
Correct your spelling
concluded
 that a change in lifestyle can actually help in
Replace the word
losing
show examples
loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
show examples
 fat and
thus
, improving overall health.
Submitted by shubhamkaushik1711 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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