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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centers provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#families #parents #members #grandparents #care #children #childcare #centers
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In
this
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 contemporary era, both mother and father are earning and they need to rely on someone else to take
care
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 of their
children
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. While some people think that
childcare
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 organizations can offer the best
care
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, I would argue that it is better for
children
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 to be
be
Remove the redundancy
apply
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looked after
their
Change preposition
by their
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grandparents
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. On the one hand, some people consider that the kids should be sent to
childcare
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 for
few
Add an article
a few
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 reasons.
Firstly
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, since the
childcare
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 employees are professionals, they can handle the responsibility of
children
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 and their needs. They not only have good skills but
also
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 have good experience of
this
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.
Secondly
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, there are other kids enrolled due to which one cannot feel lonely and will always be happy as he will be playing with many
children
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 of his age.
For example
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, my son used to eagerly wait to go to
childcare
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 as he liked to play with his friends there.
On the other hand
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, others opine that it is
better
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a better
the better
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 idea for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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grandparents
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 to take
care
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 of their grandchildren. One of the reason is he or she is part of their family, which creates
a
Change the article
an
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 emotional and unconditional bond that cannot be compromised in any way. They will be ready to sacrifice their own valuable things for their grandchildren, which cannot be expected from a
childcare
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center
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centre
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, they tend to spend more time with kids as compared to
childcare
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 which helps
children
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 grow within the family itself. It is believed that
children
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 raised by their
grandparents
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 grow faster when compared to others. In conclusion, while there are some benefits of sending
children
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 to child
care
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centers
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centres
show examples
, I believe that
grandparents
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 can take
care
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 of them in a better way because of the fact that they are family members.
Submitted by tahsin291287 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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