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Band 2.5

Many working people get little or no exercise during the working day or in their free time, and hand health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #hand #health
Nowadays, many workers not getting enough
exercise
 on their
deaily
Correct your spelling
daily
 bases which cose them various
helath
Correct your spelling
health
 problems.
This
 essay will discuss why employee usually
skip
Change the verb form
skips
show examples
exercies
Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
 in their life and provide a solution. Many workers are suffering
different
Add an article
the different
a different
show examples
 type of health issues
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they are not doing enough
exercise
.
Eaven
Correct your spelling
Even
 though most of the big firms have a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 facility, employees not
useing
Correct your spelling
using
 it. There is
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why employee not getting enough
exercise
such
 as they are exhausted the end of the day, they have other social
activityes
Correct your spelling
activities
 to do or they are just lazy to do something. Companies and workers have to change to provide a solution
for
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
this
 problem. More employer
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to provide
sport
 activity programs to their staff and give them a voucher to the local
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 gym. Employee
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to change their
mindeset
Correct your spelling
mindset
mind-set
 to live
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthier life and give a good example to the
next
 generation.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
, people have to stop making excuses and start doing some
sport
 or
exercise
 which provide
them
Verify preposition usage
withthem
show examples
 a better health condition.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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