Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

#people #behavior #sportsmen #field #players

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It is proposed by a few individuals that if the sportspersons are performing well on the

field

Use synonyms

, their

behaviour

Use synonyms

in private life hardly matters. I fully disagree with

this

Linking Words

notion because of the disparity that arises

due to

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

a practice.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the first and foremost reason in

this

Linking Words

context is that any kind of activity off the

field

Use synonyms

of sportsmen is followed by their fans blindly.

This

Linking Words

is primarily

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a fact that

such

Linking Words

imitation proves detrimental for common people in case of certain situations. To illustrate, many youngsters all around the world have been rendered drug addicts in an attempt to copy the lifestyle of their favourite players.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

makes it obvious that sportsmen

are needed

Wrong verb form

need

show examples

to behave responsibly in public so that their followers can imitate them in a positive manner. To fortify

further

Linking Words

, yet another aspect in

this

Linking Words

regard is that behaving poorly in personal life may

also

Linking Words

affect the game of a professional player. It is generally observed that once they misbehave

Change preposition

show examples

public places, they easily get the attention of the media and

Change preposition

as a

show examples

result

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, they are unable to perform amicably on the

field

Use synonyms

because of embarrassment.

This

Linking Words

is especially true in the case of a famous football player Wayne Rooney, who was once caught at a bar fighting with peers,

Correct word choice

and have

show examples

have

Verb problem

was

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not able to play well in at least 3 of his games in 2017.In fact, after a few ,months he had to apologize to his fans in order to get rid of the strain.

Therefore

Linking Words

, acting irresponsibly would bring problems for their own game, thereby proving it to be a bad idea.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, a negative attitude off the

field

Use synonyms

might

also

Linking Words

cost the sportsmen their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

In other words

Linking Words

, in the wake of unacceptable

behaviour

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in public, sportspersons not only get sacked from their teams but

also

Linking Words

lose the sponsorship of advertisement companies from where they earn a lot of income. A case in point is that

last

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year two Indian cricket players lost all of their contracts with the sponsors

Correct word choice

and

show examples

well

Correct your spelling

were

show examples

suspended from the team for 2 years in the view of making inappropriate remarks during a television interview.

Hence

Linking Words

, poor

behaviour

Use synonyms

off the

field

Use synonyms

would pave

Correct article usage

the

show examples

way for their dark future. In the gist of

above

Correct article usage

the above

show examples

contents, it can be concluded that it is

due to

Linking Words

the good

behaviour

Use synonyms

of a sportsperson in private life that he can maintain his career

as well as

Linking Words

become a role model for his fans.

Submitted by harkiratsingh.tu on Mon Mar 01 2021

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a more diverse range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. Work on using varied cohesive devices to enhance readability.

task achievement

Provide further deep analysis of some examples and expand on explanations. This will provide more clarity and depth to your arguments.

task achievement

The essay comprehensively addresses the topic, exploring multiple reasons to support the stance taken.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the point of view, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments presented.

task achievement

The use of relevant examples to support the main points is effective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

420 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
media-driven
publicized
public opinion
societal norms
brand representation
sponsors
inappropriate behavior
team dynamics
morale
personal accountability
public image
career and legacy
off-field behavior

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Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

Include an introduction and conclusion

With the growing population of cities, more and more people live in homes that have little or no outdoor area. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

For many people the reason they work hard is to earn money. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that learning a foreign languageis an essential component of a child's education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning technologyand other vocational subjects.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.