IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with? How do you think space exploration will change in the future? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#people #space #exploration #pride #effort #change #future
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Day after day, space exploration is becoming an actual topic and it is more seems like the development of private business of individual countries rather than international interests.
However
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, some people agree that
this
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 problem
have
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has
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 encouraged international communities which can lead to the advancement of space exploration technologies in the future. The most important reason for the development of the rocket industry in individual countries is
competition
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a competition
the competition
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 between world leaders.
For instance
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, after
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second
Correct article usage
the second
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 World War, USSR and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 had begun the “Cold War”, the reason for that: to introduce the power. In 1969 Neil Armstrong became the
first
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 man to be on the moon.
As a result
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,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 earns huge respect in world politics and as we know they become the most powerful country.
Except
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forExcept
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 countries pride, there are so many global problems that humanity faces
everyday
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every day
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 which have to be solved. As
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apply
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it
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isit
wasit
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 known, in the
last
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 decade, the number of Earth population had increased causing over-
exhaustence
Correct your spelling
exhausting
. Earth can support human life no longer and it is
lead
Add an article
the lead
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international
Add an article
the international
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 community to work together. Exploring Mars can be the
last
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 chance
of
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for
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 humanity in order to survive, so international collaboration
work
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works
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 together to make Mars a new Earth. Unfortunately,
this
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 needs a huge amount of funding so if a nation worries only about
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 pride, the project will fail. To sum up, I would say that international effort is the main moving force of space exploration that could help to deal with several
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
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 problems. Even a small portion of national pride should be avoided in order to be survived.
Submitted by anjelika-mama on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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