IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #reason #work #money
Nowadays,
people
 aspire to earn
money
.
However
, for many
people
, working hard for earning
money
 is not the main cause. I completely disagree with
this
 argument because other than
money
 there were other reasons for which
people
work
 hard and the following paragraphs
supports
Change the verb form
support
show examples
 my view.
To begin
 with, there are many reasons why
people
work
 diligently.
First
 and foremost,
people
 tend to
work
 potently to acquire fame among their
team
 members.
For example
, fame among their
team
 elevate their position and
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 they will be benefited by rewards
such
 as incentives,
employee
Add an article
an employee
show examples
 of the month, etc.., which boast them
furthermore
 to
work
 hard.
In addition
,
this
 may help other
team
 members to
work
 passionately and build up
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
.
Secondly
, many of them
work
 hard for acquiring
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 quality of life.
For instance
, in
this
 modern era, expenses are not reasonable.
As a result
, every individual should are working hard to achieve their desires
such
 as living in expensive houses, buying new cars, family maintenance, educational expenses, food etc..,
besides
 that,
people
 even
work
 for their passion. For evidence, they do not want to be alone and to develop their socialism
such
 as friends, communication
people
work
. In conclusion, working hard for passion, satisfaction, fame and better livelihood were most among the
people
 other than for
money
.
Submitted by Navyasree on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • necessities
  • monetary rewards
  • quality of life
  • luxury items
  • dependents
  • responsibility
  • pursue
  • personal interests
  • cultural pressures
  • wealth accumulation
  • fulfillment
  • visible measure
  • correlate
  • secure future
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • entertainment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: