IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #reason #work #money
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Nowadays,
people
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 aspire to earn
money
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.
However
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, for many
people
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, working hard for earning
money
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 is not the main cause. I completely disagree with
this
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 argument because other than
money
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 there were other reasons for which
people
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work
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 hard and the following paragraphs
supports
Change the verb form
support
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 my view.
To begin
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 with, there are many reasons why
people
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work
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 diligently.
First
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 and foremost,
people
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 tend to
work
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 potently to acquire fame among their
team
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 members.
For example
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, fame among their
team
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 elevate their position and
as a
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result
Add a comma
,result
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 they will be benefited by rewards
such
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 as incentives,
employee
Add an article
an employee
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 of the month, etc.., which boast them
furthermore
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 to
work
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 hard.
In addition
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,
this
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 may help other
team
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 members to
work
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 passionately and build up
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team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
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.
Secondly
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, many of them
work
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 hard for acquiring
better
Add an article
a better
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 quality of life.
For instance
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, in
this
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 modern era, expenses are not reasonable.
As a result
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, every individual should are working hard to achieve their desires
such
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 as living in expensive houses, buying new cars, family maintenance, educational expenses, food etc..,
besides
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 that,
people
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 even
work
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 for their passion. For evidence, they do not want to be alone and to develop their socialism
such
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 as friends, communication
people
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work
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. In conclusion, working hard for passion, satisfaction, fame and better livelihood were most among the
people
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 other than for
money
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.
Submitted by Navyasree on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • necessities
  • monetary rewards
  • quality of life
  • luxury items
  • dependents
  • responsibility
  • pursue
  • personal interests
  • cultural pressures
  • wealth accumulation
  • fulfillment
  • visible measure
  • correlate
  • secure future
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • entertainment
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