IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?

#people #space #exploration #pride #effort #change #future
Fair
Change the article
A fair
The fair
show examples
 number of
people
 consider the
competition
 between nations the main reason for the
exploration
 of
space
instead
 of global action. In my view,
this
 statement is totally true and I can support my point by the example of war and technological revolution. In the future, looking at the present technologies being invented, I suggest
space
exploration
 is going to achieve one more peak after the flights to the Moon. All the scientific and technical development is caused by
competition
 rather than the mutual desire of
people
 to make
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
civilization flourish. Since time homo sapiens had developed their cognitive abilities and cooperated into congestions, those congestions of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 have always been in a
competition
 to dominate and survive.
Hence
, to have
this
 goal achieved
people
 developed efficient ways to become victorious in various battles
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of technological advancement.
For instance
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
WWII information played a major role and different ways of sending and encrypting the information had been developed by Germany. Those technologies are now ensuring the privacy of messages. The same is applied to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
exploration
, and countries
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 participated in the
exploration
 were competing. As is known from history, USSR and America were the main contributors. Even if they had come up with the decision that
space
 is mutual,
however
, Russian and American parts were established in the International
Space
 Station. Their purpose was to show their technological advancement over each other as the Cold War was still running. When it comes to predictions about
space
exploration
, we need to consider the efforts of
people
 like Elon Musk, who has set up an ambitious goal of reaching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Mars and building
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 colony on other Planets. Latest SpaceX shuttles are using inventions of the highest degree constructed by several
researches
Change the wording
types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research
show examples
 on the materials that can endure long-term flights and conditions of
space
.
In addition
, many scientists are searching for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
planets and civilizations comparable to Earth and humanity and the field is advancing rapidly. To conclude,
space
exploration
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 always been an essential part of
competition
Add an article
a competition
the competition
show examples
 of nations
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 intended to show their technologies and raise respect towards them. In the future, considering the rapid positive trend of the lens, humans can confidently foresee successful results.
Submitted by bekeyeva_a on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: