Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

#people #behavior #sportsmen #field #players

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It is a common opinion nowadays that the behaviour of professional athletes outside the playground does not matter if they are performing great on the field. Even though some people favour

this

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idea, there is a tremendous part of society that does not support the notion. In

this

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essay, I will discuss and provide reasons why I completely disagree with

such

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belief

Correct article usage

a belief

show examples

Firstly

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, the main ground for my opinion is that great sportsmen

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

generally

influencing

Wrong verb form

influence

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and

inspiring

Wrong verb form

inspire

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huge population masses starting from the youth

ending

Correct word choice

and ending

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with the elderly.

For example

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, famous football players are known for their charity work. These individuals are of great benefit to society as they often visit kids with severe health conditions,

such

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as cancer,

thus

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encouraging them to fight for their lives.

Furthermore

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, players like Messi and Ronaldo have demonstrated tremendous effort in encouraging youth football players to stick with the hobby and develop

further

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Secondly

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, being a nice person outside the game is crucial for the player’s career development as it attracts various companies who would like

to conclude

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

promotion contracts with the athletes for advertisement purposes.

For instance

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, a famous tennis player Maria Sharapova has drawn business entities begging her to advertise their products.

Moreover

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such

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income has allowed

establishing

Wrong verb form

establish

show examples

a brand of her own. Upon completion of the athletic career,

this

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will be a solid base for income. In conclusion, despite others

think

Wrong verb form

thinking

show examples

that lifestyle outside the field is insignificant, I strongly disagree with their point. In my view encouraging society, stimulating sports development and

investment

Replace the word

investing

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in future

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

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are of tremendous importance for sportsmen across the world.

Submitted by nurgaziyeva.aliya on Tue Mar 02 2021

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each main idea is discussed thoroughly in separate paragraphs. Your points are clear but sometimes explanations could be more detailed.

task achievement

Your essay provides a complete response to the task and is well-organized. However, there are occasional grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Proofread to minimize such issues.

task achievement

Consider expanding your ideas further to deeply explore your arguments. This can help in providing a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly sets out your position on the topic.

task achievement

The examples provided are specific and relevant to the argument.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and main points.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
media-driven
publicized
public opinion
societal norms
brand representation
sponsors
inappropriate behavior
team dynamics
morale
personal accountability
public image
career and legacy
off-field behavior

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Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

Some people think that product should be made to last as long as possible while others think that making the product cheap is more important discuss both the views and give your opinion

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of one country, While some people think there are other factors. what other factors should be considers ? Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than the others ?

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?