IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that formal “pen and paper” examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#people #“pen #paper” #examinations #method #achievement
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In the
last
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 decades
not
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,not
show examples
 just educational methods have
being
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been
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 questioned but
also
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 children development. In
this
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 perspective, the traditional educational system does not assess achievement but it is
deletery
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deleted
delivery
 for the process of
self building
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self-building
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.
This
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 essay will explore
this
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 subject and suggest some ideas considering freedom as a mote for education. The traditional educational system is closely related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
behaviorist
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behaviourist
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 concepts.
Therefor
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Therefore
show examples
, it believes that people's
caracters
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characters
,
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
inteligence
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intelligence
 and productivity could be
builded
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built
show examples
 and forged by the
envirement
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environment
 receiving positive and negative reinforcements. In
this
Linking Words
 mechanic way, maybe is possible
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 obtain
writen
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written
 results
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
pice
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piece
show examples
 of paper, but those words will not reflect what was
compreended
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comprehended
 by the
students
Use synonyms
. As an
exemple
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example
, if
a
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students
a student
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 became nervous, feeling anxiety during a test. That probably will not reflect what they know but what they decorate or was conditioned to write during the test,
however
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 will not reflect what he or she introjected about that matters. Another
drownback
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drawback
 in traditional educational methods is the castration of
students
Use synonyms
 as human beings. They are
discoraged
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discouraged
 to express themselves and to demonstrate
who
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whom
show examples
 they are becoming during the process.
This
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 conditional method is based
in
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on
show examples
 right or wrong, despite
of
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apply
show examples
the child's or teenager's mechanism to create and
compreended
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comprehend
comprehended
 the concept.
An
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A
show examples
 creative way could contain more about the capacity of the student to realize
conections
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connections
 and the
aquisition
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acquisition
 of
knowlogie
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knowledge
 than the strict answer and
produtivity
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productivity
. I
compleately
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completely
 agree with the statement and believe that Paulo Freire was right when he said that the focus of education must be freedom. If there is not, we are creating
genarations
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generations
 of robots to reproduce the same old ideas. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 there is
great
Add an article
a great
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 resistance against
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 new
stretegies
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strategies
 and a systemic transformation
due
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todue
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 the fact that include teachers,
edication
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education
dedication
, parents, parenthood and the way we all see the
students
Use synonyms
 as
society
Add an article
a society
show examples
.
Submitted by agenciabrushup on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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