The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

#amount #time #sport #exercise #schools #children

Nowadays due to an increase in technology, pupils are reluctant towards doing outdoor

activities

which cause an

issue

of obesity among

children

. Many people believe that increasing sports

activities

might help to reduce

this

issue

. In my opinion,

this

is a great notion to deal with these problems, but there are many other solutions too which need to be implemented together to overcome

this

menace.

To begin

with, in today's global village we can access various things very easily.

Firstly

due to an increase in technology and video games,

children

are more prone to doing indoor

activities

Secondly

also

during leisure time, pupils don't love to get socialize because they are reluctant to do physical

activities

Therefore

these all factors have a detrimental effect on an individual

child

. More spending time at home cause an increase in low metabolic rate which later makes

children

obese.

In addition

, as pupils are facing the

issue

of overweight due to their sedentary life they

also

face various psychological issues too.

Furthermore

, to lookout solution for

this

many people believe that sports exercise should be given more importance in schools which is an amazing idea.

This

really helps in increasing the physical activity of a pupil and helps them to remain healthy. But not only

this

thing will give us a permanent solution. Other solutions are

also

required to cope with all the difficulties.

For instance

, the family should encourage the

child

to play more outdoor games. Parents should monitor the time spending on mobile phones by their

children

. To sum up, increasing sports

activities

in school is a great idea to deal with the problem of increasing obesity in

children

. But not only school but family should

also

come forward to eradicate

this

issue

by encouraging the

child

to physical exercise and by monitoring the

child

's indoor

activities

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Information technology enable many people to do their chores outside their workplace (e.g at home or while travelling) do the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Smart phones and other similar electronic gadgets have reduced the contact between friends. Discuss how far you agree with this statement.