Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit the as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A section of individuals believes the primary factor of institutions is having a good impact on students to do valuable work,
instead
of benefiting their selves. This
author disagrees that education plays an essential role in individuals’ lives due to
a huge amount of skills
and numerous qualifications, which are important for future jobs.
Education helps students with many useful skills
through many scientific subjects such
as Physics, Math, and Chemistry. Practising those subjects makes logical skills
and minding update and be better. Besides
that, many extra-curricular activities make pupils more active, effective and straightforward in management and teamwork experience. For instance
, in fact, many pressing problems and accidents cannot be prevented but through solving-trouble skills
, many issues can be simultaneously and most effectively.
In addition
, studying and testing at schools can assess your realistic ability and give you a degree or quality that is
the fact of your intelligence and it is one of the chances in the near future. Qualifications sometimes are the priority way to people assess someone or one’s knowledge and talent. Take many Asian countries as an example, unlike Europe, Asian parents wish their offspring would have many degrees in some famous institution or universities. Unless you have some good results or qualities, you will be a loser.
To sum up
, schools are the places where you can improve your skills
and receive many accomplishments for your ability and talent. Hence
, educating at school absolutely affects positive way on pupils’ selves, rather than their countries or commercial aid.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your introduction is a bit unclear. Try to clearly state your viewpoint from the beginning. For example, you can start with: 'I disagree with the notion that the main purpose of schools is only to turn children into good citizens and workers. Instead, I believe that education primarily benefits individuals by providing them with essential skills and qualifications for their personal development and future careers.'
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use linking words and phrases effectively. For example, use 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Additionally,' to introduce new points. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task response
Your essay presents a clear point of view and supports it with relevant arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with distinct paragraphs focusing on separate points.
coherence and cohesion
You use a variety of sentence structures, which makes your writing more engaging.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?