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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money making attractions amid at tourist.others believes that it is the only way to save these traditions.Discuss on both sides and give your opinion.

#people #traditions #money #attractions #tourist
Cultural
traditions
 attract tourists from all over the world.Few individuals claim that these may be ruined if modified to fascinate visitors.Others,
however
, hold the view that only
tourism
 can retain
cutural
Correct your spelling
cultural
traditions
otherwise
 these will
be disappear
Change the verb form
disappear
show examples
.I shall discuss both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of
arguments
Correct article usage
the arguments
show examples
 ,
i
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I
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 personally side with
latter
Add an article
the latter
show examples
 view. We have to make it alluring for tourists.
Firstly
,
tourism
 boosts
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
secondly
, we get
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
 to spread our culture to different countries.
Thirdly
, our artists and artisans will use art, which
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
show examples
 our culture
otherwise
 it will die off.
Tourism
 is the
back-bone
Correct your spelling
backbone
show examples
 of all the countries.Every country does its effort to enhance the number of visitors .Many people depend on
tourism
 for their livelihood.People of
Correct your spelling
transport
transpot
Correct article usage
the transpot
show examples
 industry, food industry, and hotel industry rely on it. on the
Correct your spelling
other hand
otherhand
Add a comma
,otherhand
show examples
 many people vocalize cultural tradition will destroy completely if we use it to make money from visitors.In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is
deep rooted
Add a hyphen
deep-rooted
show examples
 and minor changes can not harm it .Change is
law
Add an article
the law
a law
show examples
 of nature and we should alter it with cautions.In
this
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
 we can achieve wealth and maintain cultural
traditions
. Summing up, to save cultural
traditions
 we should make it captivating for tourists.we have to change some features of it to save it .
Submitted by justinedanillee on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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