IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #action #crime
There is no doubt that criminal activities have geared exceedingly globally.
However
, while some believe that these offences are handled productively than before, I would agree with those who argue that strict actions are required still to control
crimes
. To commence with, it is important to consider the involvement of numerous technological advances in curtailing the crime rate.
This
 is because the observation and detection of the crime under CCTV surveillance have actively enhanced the power of police to catch the criminal.To cite an example, if a thief, who enters a money bank with an intention to conduct a robbery might get noticed in the presence of cameras, leading him towards imprisonment directly.
Furthermore
, in many facilities nowadays, there are sirens and burglar alarm systems are installed for safety purpose to prevent crime.
Thus
, these illegal acts are tackled in a more effective manner today than earlier.
Nevertheless
,despite many existing methods to control misconduct, I believe that the enforcement of strict punishment is the only way to mitigate major
crimes
,
such
 as murder or acid attacks. The reason for
this
 is an unwitnessed or unproved case is considered a bailable offence which, in turn, strengthens the will power of a criminal to repeat it in the future. The argument goes that, if the victims of
such
 misdeeds are allowed to take on spot actions in self-defence than
this
 could reduce the ratio of
crimes
. A woman,
for instance
,who is an acid attack survivor, if considered as the prime witness and the judge announces the capital punishment to that offender on her verdicts could prevent myriads of
such
 criminal deeds by spreading
this
 message by generating fear amongst them. In conclusion,
although
 these
crimes
 are controlled up to an extent by laws, I feel that severe punishments without delaying should be imposed on the basis of victims confession to prevent most of the criminality.
Submitted by jhalakbakshi1992 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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