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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others see that having a friendly relations is better. what do you think? Discus both points and give us opinion.

A few individuals believe that it is better when
students
Use synonyms
 are scared of their teachers, meanwhile, others argue that having friendly relationships between them is more beneficial. Both views have their own valid points, as it can help
students
Use synonyms
 to make fewer mistakes and stay motivated,
however
Linking Words
, being in friendly relations with scholars can make them not afraid of being judged or wrong because it makes education more progressive and the essay will discuss them before presenting my own opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, fear of a teacher's remark can help motivate and even teens who are not good ones in education will try to do their best out of fear.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, when children are afraid of being scolded or punished, they may become more disciplined and focused on their studies.
For example
Linking Words
, the statistics of High Anadolu Mahmutlar Lisesi have shown that teachers
such
Linking Words
 as Mr. Serkan, the math teacher, who is more strict with juveniles , have taught more than 524
students
Use synonyms
 throughout the school.
As a result
Linking Words
, that
lise
Change the capitalization
Lise
show examples
 became the best in mathematics.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, society thinks that having a friendly and respectful relationship between educators and
students
Use synonyms
 helps them learn better. To explain, kids feel comfortable with their teacher, they are more likely to ask questions, share their ideas, and join in class activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, research conducted by the website, called psycholog.com, has shown that
this
Linking Words
 kind of environment builds confidence and makes
students
Use synonyms
 enjoy learning more. In conclusion, both strict and friendly teaching styles have their advantages. Fear can push
students
Use synonyms
 to stay focused and work harder,
while
Linking Words
 friendly relationships can make learning more enjoyable and help
students
Use synonyms
 feel more confident. Personally, in my opinion, a friendly and respectful connection is more beneficial, as it encourages open communication and supports long-term learning success.

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task achievement
While your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, a more explicit thesis statement could enhance clarity. Try to briefly outline the main points you will discuss in your body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
In your paragraphs, ensure that each main point is supported with a sufficient explanation connecting it back to the central topic. This can strengthen your argument and provide clearer insights into your viewpoints.
task achievement
When providing examples, try to explain their relevance to the argument more thoroughly. This helps the reader understand how these examples concretely support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing. Transition words can help guide the reader and enhance your essay's overall coherence.
positivity
Your essay presents a balanced view of both perspectives, which is a commendable approach. Also, you effectively provided relevant examples to support your claims, particularly regarding students' learning environments.
positivity
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and clearly states your opinion, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your stance on the issue.
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