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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others see that having a friendly relations is better. what do you think? Discus both points and give us opinion.

A few individuals believe that it is better when
students
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 are scared of their teachers,
while
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, others argue that having friendly relationships between them is more beneficial. Both views have their own valid points, as it can help
students
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 to make fewer mistakes and stay motivated,
however
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, being in friendly relations with scholars can make them not afraid of being judged or wrong because it makes education more progressive. In my opinion, having good relationships can bring more success.
To begin
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 with, fear of a teacher's remark can help motivate and even teens who are not good ones in education will try to do their best out of fear.
That is
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 to say, when children are afraid of being scolded or punished, they may become more disciplined and focused on their studies.
For example
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, the statistics of High Anadolu Mahmutlar Lisesi have shown that teachers
such
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 as Mr. Serkan, the math teacher, who is more strict with juveniles , have taught more than 524
students
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 throughout the school.
As a result
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, that
lise
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Lise
show examples
 became the best in mathematics.
On the other hand
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, society thinks that having a friendly and respectful relationship between educators and
students
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 leads to better learning. To explain, kids feel comfortable with their teacher, they are more likely to ask questions, share their ideas, and join in class activities.
For instance
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, research conducted by the website, called psycholog.com, has shown that when teachers make jokes
students
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 are more active and enjoy learning more. In conclusion,
while
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 fear can push
students
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 to stay focused and work harder, friendly relationships can make learning more enjoyable and help
students
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 feel more confident. Personally, in my opinion, a friendly and respectful connection is more beneficial, as it encourages open communication and supports long-term learning success.

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task achievement
Try to expand your ideas and provide more detailed explanations for your points. This will help in making your argument clearer and more comprehensive.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences and that each sentence relates back to the main idea of the paragraph. This enhances the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
While examples are present, they could be more diverse and targeted to enhance your arguments further. Consider integrating a wider variety of examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is commendable.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your perspective and provides a clear stance on the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • discipline
  • motivation
  • anxiety
  • positive learning environment
  • engagement
  • participation
  • academic performance
  • supportive
  • structure
  • authority figure
  • creativity
  • enthusiasm
  • balance
  • clear expectations
  • nurturing
  • respectful relationship
  • fear-based learning
  • structured environment
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