In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

All over the world ,
this
is a very crucial time for small businesses. In the
last
decade,there are plenty of small shops
shut
Add a pronoun
that shut

This sentence appears to be missing a pronoun. Consider adding the pronoun.

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down because of online shopping or big malls.I concern that
this
is a negative development for a society which rises a hurdle for local stores. Due to modernization, every individual wants to go
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a huge mall
center
Change the spelling
centre

The spelling of center is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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for shopping or for entertainment.
Therefore
, local outlets are surviving to increase or retain their daily sale. Some of
them
Correct your spelling
the

The word them doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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shit down their companies because of
this
development. On the other side , these big shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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are very modern and people found everything under
a
Remove the article
apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article a before one. Consider deleting the article.

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one roof .
A new
Correct the article-noun agreement
New

The indefinite article A may not be required with the plural noun buildings in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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buildings are designs to look attractive and which helps to increase customers.
A another
Remove the article
Another

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article A before another. Consider deleting the article.

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adverse result of
this
growth is surging
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun unemployment in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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unemployment among local workers.
A uneducated
Correct the article-noun agreement
Uneducated

The indefinite article A may not be required with the plural noun workers in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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workers who were working in
these small store
Change the determiner
this small store
these small stores

It appears that the plural demonstrative these is modifying the singular noun store. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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are not habitual to do jobs in big malls because they have to educate for getting jobs in large outlets.
Consequently
, they lost their jobs and very hardly they survive in
this
modernization. In a conclusion, I assert that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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some big organizations or investors
gives
Change the verb form
give

The verb gives does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun trouble in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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huge trouble to small businesses.
This
development is helpful for few cooperations but it gives a hard time
local
Change preposition
to local

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
community workers.
Submitted by hardeeppandher6 on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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