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Band 3.5

Do you think we have a lot of choices today rather than past?

#choices
In
this
 technology advanced world,
people
 are more accessible to many ultramodern facilities. In my opinion, compared to the past, there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of opportunities for an individual. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will
putforth
Correct your spelling
put forth
 my views in detail. To commence with, among
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of opportunities,
people
 consider education as the main treasure. Everyone is accessible to primary education which was not possible in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 time. With the proper education overall standard of individuals enhanced.
Moreover
, with
such
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
merit
people
 achieved financial stability. It is a great advantage in choosing whatever one
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
. Henceforth,
people
 standard of living elevated.
Such
 a tremendous change resulted in
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
consumer based
Add a hyphen
consumer-based
show examples
 society.
Thus
 to satisfy consumer requirements, commercial firms produced
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 variety of commodities. Eventually brought massive benefits to
such
 companies.
For example
, in the past five
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 there is a drastic increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
commercial Firms in the country of India. It is to provide
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 variety of commodities to
people
 since everyone is quite demanding attitudes. Considering the above facts, I would like to conclude by saying that compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 there are plenty of options from which
people
 can opt
whatever
Change preposition
for whatever
show examples
 they like. It is a great opportunity and hopeful
people
 will opt
everything
Change preposition
for everything
show examples
 cautiously.
Submitted by neethuchackochan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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