IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that to learn a second language well it is necessary to live in a country where the language is being spoken. What is your opinion about this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Few humans believe that apart from their native
language
Use synonyms
, it is essential to learn the foreign
language
Use synonyms
 of the
nation
Use synonyms
 where they are surviving.
This
Linking Words
 essay will agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 who know the
language
Use synonyms
 of the
place
Use synonyms
 where they live
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 their life easy to deal with their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 activities and to understand the stuff going around them,
as well as
Linking Words
 to get an employment opportunity and settle in a foreign
nation
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 where we moved to live
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
 us to communicate with the local
people
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 will help us to make our living better to live in their
place
Use synonyms
 and understand their culture and to create memories with the native
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, when we live in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 no understanding of their
language
Use synonyms
, we may struggle to get to a grocery store or a pharmacy store and fail to get the address of these stores, as we lack the knowledge to communicate with the local
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, without
knowing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the knowledge to communicate with local
people
Use synonyms
, it is difficult to understand their festivals, movies, way of living, and socialising with the
people
Use synonyms
 around us, which makes us feel isolated and depressed
to live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 in any new
place
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, without the command of the
language
Use synonyms
 of the local
nation
Use synonyms
 in which we are living,
makes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
it
difficult
Add a missing verb
is difficult
show examples
 to get a job in that
place
Use synonyms
 as it is essential to know the local
language
Use synonyms
 to work and earn money.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to settle in a new
country
Use synonyms
, it
requires
Wrong verb form
is required
show examples
 to qualify the
language
Use synonyms
 test of that particular geographical location for the local government to issue status for living in the
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, almost all foreign companies need their staff to understand and talk with their business in their local
language
Use synonyms
 for their business growth so eventually, the organisations prefer to employ
people
Use synonyms
 with the knowledge of the local
language
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many countries like Canada, the USA, and the UK made it mandatory to pass
IELTS
Correct article usage
the IELTS
show examples
 example to grant a status of living in their
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, certain demographics of society believe that
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 living in foreign nations
required
Add a missing verb
is required
show examples
 to learn the
language
Use synonyms
 of the new
nation
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion. In my view,
language
Use synonyms
 enables us to communicate and understand the things around us especially, when we are living in a new
place
Use synonyms
 surrounded by new
people
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 us to work and achieve
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
legal authority to
leave
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
 in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and could be improved by stating the main argument more explicitly. Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made in the essay. Consider using more cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Presents clear arguments supporting the importance of learning the language of the country where one is living.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: