IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

There have been some problems with public transport in your area recently. Write a letter to the manager of the transport company. In your letter -describe the problems -explain how these problems are affecting the public -suggest some changes that could be made.

#transport #area #manager #company #-describe #-explain #-suggest #changes
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am an active member of Navruz Street and I am writing to you in order to complain about the problems with public transportation. As you know, our hometown is popular with its breathtaking views and entertainment places.
However
, the residents are having trouble with buses, minibuses, microvans and others in the shuttle. I mean that there is not enough public transport.
Moreover
, most of them are so outdated and quite slow that commuters are making complaints. When it comes to its influences, first of all, inhabitants have to wait for vehicles for at least more than half an hour and they are often late for their work or studies. What is more, as they have been working for ages, they could pollute our environment seriously and
as a result
 of
this
, some parts of the population are thinking of moving out. I suggest that you should change the old ones into new eco-friendly buses
as well as
 keep the timetable or schedule under control. I look forward to receiving your prompt response to my letter and a resolution to these issues. Yours sincerely, Mary Curie
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a logical flow throughout the letter. While your letter possesses a good structure, it can benefit from smoother transitions between points.
task achievement
For a higher grade in task achievement, provide more specific examples and elaboration on the problems and the impacts they have on the community.
task achievement
The letter's tone is generally suitable and polite, adhering to the formality required for writing to a manager. Maintain this tone consistently throughout.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • plaguing
  • delays
  • frustration
  • inconvenience
  • productivity
  • rely on
  • daily commute
  • overall
  • condition
  • deteriorated
  • overcrowded
  • seating arrangements
  • compromises
  • safety
  • comfort
  • impacts
  • hygienic
  • maintenance
  • unpleasant
  • alternative
  • modes of transportation
  • congestion
  • pollution
  • fuel consumption
  • proposed
  • infrastructure
  • upgrading
  • expanding
  • cater to
  • growing population
  • focus on
  • regular maintenance
  • breakdowns
  • hire
  • train
  • customer service
  • overcrowding
  • expectations
  • managing
  • minimizing
  • appropriate action
  • reliable
  • efficient
  • sustainable
  • benefits
  • entire community
  • Thank you for your attention to this matter.
  • Yours faithfully
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