IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#people #media #privacy #price #fame #invasion #life
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era
Add a comma
,
show examples
media
Use synonyms
 play a pivotal role in everyone's
life
Use synonyms
. According to my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement is true some celebrities treated badly by the
media
Use synonyms
 because some of the channels make fun of their personal issues which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not good . so , In
this
Linking Words
easy
Add a comma
,easy
show examples
 I wanna explain both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative points of
media
Use synonyms
 with different instances . The
first
Linking Words
 and foremost point is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all famous people have their own
life
Use synonyms
's . Everyone's
Use synonyms
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 both ups and downs . Nobody is
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 who don't have problems in their
life
Use synonyms
 . Problems make the human
more good
Replace the words
better
show examples
 and help them to fight with issues and became a famous or positive person. Along the lines of that
media
Use synonyms
 take shorts and put on the social sites with bad headlines which make the person back and all the people make fun of them .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some of the stars like to share their personal
life
Use synonyms
 on social
media
Use synonyms
 . And they put their videos on social sites to make some followers and likes on their videos.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 they show how they live in their home .
Their
Replace the word
There
show examples
 is one show Bigboss in which they show their lifestyles and daily routines
this
Linking Words
actively
Replace the word
action
show examples
 demonstrates that they like to share their privacy on social sites. To sum
up
Add a comma
,up
show examples
everthing
Correct your spelling
everything
 that has been stated so far celebrities have their own likes and dislikes some of them like share
evertyhing
Correct your spelling
everything
 and some of them like to be personal
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 only for them not for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 . so ,
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 need to make fake news or headlines
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
Correct your spelling
anybody's
anybody
anybodys
Change to a genitive case
anybody's
show examples
 personal
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Kamal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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