IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Films can have effect on children education and teach them many things. Do you think it is always positive influence?

#films #effect #children #education #influence
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In today's world, it is believed by some part of a population that films have
influence
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an influence
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 on youngsters.
Firstly
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,
this
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 essay will discuss possible positive affects and,
secondly
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, it will analyse some negative ones.
To begin
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 with, on the one hand, when watching documentaries or other historical pictures children are able to perceive a
lot
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 of new material and learn new things.
This
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 is because not only do films can illustrate some important events of that time but
also
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 they can teach
young
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the young
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 generation various
behavior
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behaviour
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such
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 as generosity or courage.
Therefore
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, if infants watch these
programms
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programmes
programs
 they are likely to find out a
lot
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 of insights and,
moreover
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, see different types
personalities
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of personalities
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 through actors playing in scenes.
For instance
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,
a
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apply
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recent research has shown that the major part of the information known by youngsters is learned from films.
However
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, a
lot
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 of data presented on the TV can be misleading and false and
this
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, in turn, means that spectators receive untruthful knowledge.
On the other hand
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, a
lot
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 of movies contain violent situations, vandalism and a
lot
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 of criminality which, in turn, might impact a child's nervous system and their overall perception of the world. The main reason for
this
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 is that not only might children choose criminals as their role models but
also
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 they can consider that a crime is an ordinary and common thing which is cool and extremely interesting.
As a result
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, these young spectators might have a higher desire to commit violence than those who do not watch
such
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 kind of
programms
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programmes
programs
 and,
therefore
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, there might be more criminals in the future.
For example
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, one study has illustrated that
the
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apply
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violent scenes increase people's aggressiveness and
stressfulness
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the stressfulness
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. Eventually, to conclude, I am firmly convinced that,
although
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, movies can give a
lot
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 of useful, educational information their impact should be considered as negative since they might lead to
a
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apply
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violent
behavior
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behaviour
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.
Submitted by veronika-glinka on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • education
  • broaden
  • worldviews
  • diversity
  • moral lessons
  • development
  • behavior
  • documentaries
  • engaging
  • stereotypes
  • violence
  • detrimental
  • perceptions
  • excessive screen time
  • physical health
  • social skills
  • parental guidance
  • discern
  • fantasy
  • reality
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