Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

Public celebrations and holidays,

such

Linking Words

as New Year or

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Victory day need too much

money

Use synonyms

for their organization. It is argued, whether

this

Linking Words

is useful and right or power should spend

this

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

on other things. From my point of view, people are right. Thereby, I absolutely agree, that

money

Use synonyms

must be spent on the more essential things.

Firstly

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, it is very unjustified costs, because they do not bring any use to people. Of course, it may be funny and entertaining, but the costs are too large for it.

For example

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, only the

last

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fireworks in Minsk cost $100.000. I guess

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

sum is enough to help 2 or 3 sick children with their medical treatment.

That is

Linking Words

why

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should rebuild

it’s

Replace the word

its

show examples

financial

Add an article

the financial

show examples

system and find out, that shows are not worth kids’ lives.

Finally

Linking Words

, medicine is not the only thing that

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

money

Use synonyms

. Education, transportation and so on need investing as well.

For instance

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

$100.000 would be a great capital for the new students’ books or innovational buses for the public. I believe it is

much

Correct article usage

a much

show examples

more useful and

long lasting

Add a hyphen

long-lasting

show examples

investment than

random

Add an article

a random

the random

show examples

festival organization.

As a result

Linking Words

, the quality of life would rise and people will be happier. To sum up, public celebrations are not a good way to spend national

money

Use synonyms

. In my humble opinion, medicine, education and other important things are the better way for

this

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. I definitely think that government must stop organizing these expensive events, and should spend cash more carefully.

Alina

Mar 11, 2021

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

allocate funds
cultural heritage
national pride
balanced approach
stimulate local economies
social cohesion
fostering social harmony
opportunity costs
address crucial issues
effective governance
public funds
overall societal benefit

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International community must act immediately to ensure all nations to reduce their consumption of fossil fuels e.g gas and oil. Do you agree or disagree?